


Of Starry Nights and Feathered Gold

by starrymeis (meiqis)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Wings, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Wingfic, kind of, lots of useless thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25413022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meiqis/pseuds/starrymeis
Summary: There were two truths Renjun liked to stick with in his life:1 - Lucas' wings were his most prized possession ( + Lucas attached to them was one hefty extra).2 - He hated Mark Lee.How unfortunate it was that meeting Mark seemed to mess his prior beliefs up more than he'd liked.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee, Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 14
Kudos: 82





	Of Starry Nights and Feathered Gold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [octie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/octie/gifts).



> First of all, this one is a birthday present for my most endearing and utterly mesmerizing [Octie](https://twitter.com/yawnedsoftly) so if you're at it, wish her a happy birthday too ❤️
> 
> Aside from that, I don't have much to say. This work took me embarrassingly long to write so I'm glad I can finally put it out and aside from that, just two things:  
>  **markrencas ! ! !** and **WINGS !!!**
> 
> Have fun reading!

Gold to many meant monetary stability, the comfort of wealth and luxury, expensive buildings that were shown off by royals and those who could afford it. It was a metal so vastly desired and yet it wasn't the rarest, a gleam that lured so many in with its warm colors, like a disease to not be rid. It was sometimes generosity and sometimes selfishness, not without reason depicted as the treasure so many winged serpents liked to protect. Gold to many was just that, and to Renjun it was so much more. 

It was the color to have accompanied his childhood, a soft sparkly yellow that reminded him of chicken nuggets he had liked to eat so often because of their crispy outside and tender inside. It was a color of comfort during nights of bad dreams and cold, was the loose feathers he had hung up as a mobile above his bed that had slowly grown into strings of fairy lights carrying such of various lengths, interspersed by photos, old grainy pictures of two babies and modern retro polaroids of his various friends. It was the mysterious reflection of white and rosé that reflected the evening sun and trembled beneath his touch. 

Besides him, he could hear the soundtrack of Mario Kart and Lucas' annoyed huff for having lost thanks to Renjun's distracting touch, the full body shiver that wrecked his way bigger form. Gold was his favorite color and if only it was worn so beautifully by the boy he had grown up with. 

One of the uppermost two percent of this world's humane population. Jeno had once told him to be jealous of Renjun, how much he envied the older for being so close to the elite day by day, and it was not something the Chinese was entirely certain he could agree upon. Sometimes he envied his best friend for his own freedom - go wherever he wanted, do whatever he desired, pursue whatever path he saw - because his future bad been presented to him much earlier. His hobbies were but a pastime until he was queried to pursue his duty, this job he had seen since he had been a small child, the profession he was more familiar with than anyone else. 

Reaching the position of a caretaker was a strenuous one, if simply because it often times was an inherited position. The same way his parents were the ears and the eyes of the older Lees, Renjun was meant to take over for their son. It was a position he dreaded, one he didn't want to have anything to do with, and yet there he was, on the same floor as the ominous heir, laying on the balcony of a vastly different Winged. In old times they had been called angels, or depicted as the humanified version of dragons, sometimes hunted like demons; it had always depended on where they had been. Only recent studies had proven they were not all that different to humans, a differently evolved subspecies. Homo sapiens alatus. More than just wings, though, there were many ways they were above humans - stronger, smarter, faster. An ideal of beauty. 

None of which Renjun could deny, resting his head on Lucas' lap as he remained on the ocher colored garden furniture, his fingers caressing along the golden feathers he could reach, never straying too far from his touch as if Lucas were so very aware how much he loved their familiarity, and likely he did. Renjun had loved and touched those golden wings since he had been a toddler, when he had somehow ended up playing with the Huang son rather than the Lee household's. His mom had told him one of his babysitters had messed up and after he had screamed for being taken away from little Xuxi, and when little Xuxi had bawled too, their parents had allowed them to meet more and more often. That first day, the beginning of many, of fun stories his mother liked to remind him of, like those times he had started losing teeth and his gums had hurt so much he had started gnawing on Lucas' wings, fluffy soft baby feathers that had soothed his aching flesh and left those weak wings soaked with spit. 

Living in the same building had meant he had spent some several sleepovers at the other Huang family's place, where he had been spoiled and warm beneath Lucas' wings, where he hadn't needed to hear about the Lee son time and time again. He had stopped questioning whether that winged kid was more favored by his parents or not by the time he had hit puberty, when he had almost moved in with his closest person and seeked comfort there. Playing with wings, it was a habit he had grown used to ever since those days, his fingers carefully grooming and caressing along their feathers time and time again, looking for spots of dirty or dust to brush down, feel their little strings beneath his touch. Wings that were so pliant for him when already he had been judge to their strength before, when seeing Lucas come home from a storm raging on outside, whenever Lucas had offered to fly him to class during those times he was late. Time and time again, the thick and flexing muscles beneath those golden feathers, the warmth that radiated from them, he couldn't help feel fascinated by those. 

Gaming sounds cut off, Renjun could watch as Lucas turned off his Switch and leaned forward, face almost smothered by wooden honeyed skin when the same game device was put down on the couch table. With an exasperated noise, the smaller pawed at Lucas’ bare chest, trying to urge the other away from the immediate proximity of his face, always so close and it was something he should be used to when, at the same time, it happened to be suffocating. None of his other friends showed so much skin around him, would run around in their underwear without shame when he stayed the night, and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. Sometimes it almost drove him to madness that Lucas could so easily strip his body bare, the idea that he might consider his own body as something so easy meant to be shown off, as if it didn’t matter exactly who was seeing it. 

“Fucking exhibitionist,” the smaller grumbled under his breath, awfully aware of the warmth owned by the skin and that it was not only owed to the lengthy time they had spent underneath the sun by then. Were flying not a possibility for a certain amount of people, those same people who could easily intrude on them anytime now, Renjun wouldn’t question it, this whole habit of wearing too little clothes while sitting on the terrace. But flying was a thing, it was like taking a shower with the bathroom door unlocked only to then wonder why someone intruded on such private time. “Get! Off me!”

“Ow,” Lucas laughed, “You’re don’t think dying while listening to my heartbeat would be romantic?” With as much jest in his tone, it was hard to take the older serious but there was a tad of relief flooding Renjun’s self, all while his body temperature seemed to drop some several degrees, the kind that would have him feeling cold were it not for the warm summer weather with its cozy temperatures. 

“Dying being smothered by your b-cup chest muscles sure looks great in my medical examination letter then.” With a grunt, the smaller tried to sit up, emphasis on  _ tried _ for the next moment he felt arms engulfing his waist and already he found himself catapulted into the air, skittering to a halt a few seconds later. Held by Lucas’ arms, he was lowered to the ground, the taller kneeling above him, golden wings spread out, each of which easily spanned its carrier’s height. 

They always had been beautiful like this, liquid metal reflecting light with every littlest shift of muscle, flutter of the wind. Warm hues, from white to yellow to sated ocher, sandy brown like the desert glinting in the morning sun and molten white gold flowing in rivers. He couldn’t be upset with Lucas when presented with such beautiful sight, even at times he was thrown around like a ragdoll.

Xuxi, he had come to learn over the years, was an enigma of controversies. Built like a jock, building muscle with an ease that shouldn’t be considered human when only it was to be faulted on evolution, and yet he couldn’t hurt no fly, wearing strength like an armor meant for others. Boisterous and loud, always the center of attention but never to make fun of others, like an MC in the spotlight he knew when to step back, how to make everyone else surrounding him feel involved and like a part of every story told. Outstanding in his studies and Renjun, more than anyone else,  _ knew _ , had seen the annual reports, had seen the bouts of books lining the shelves, had been part of Lucas trying to pick up so many languages, but it was never in an unkind way. On the contrary, more often than not he felt like punching those who dared insult his friend for behaving naively, as if outstanding enthusiasm was strictly connected to being an airhead. 

A dreamer but a realist, a friend and advisor, a companion for life. Not once had Renjun wished he could change slots, be with Lucas rather than the Lees’ son but missing a replacement for a job that wasn’t yet his. Almost all of his life so far he had spent by the older’s side, ever leaving it now seemed impossible.

Which didn’t mean he couldn’t resist, arms reaching around to where he knew the older was most sensitive, caressing along the base of sturdy wings, and he was met by one strong gust of wind as Lucas pushed himself back, away from Renjun’s sneaky hands. At that, the younger could only laugh out loud, rolling over as he got to his knees. “Never getting tired of that,” the adolescent grinned, shortly sticking his tongue out in the winged man’s direction before darting back inside, looking for refreshment within the early summer’s heat, the familiar sight of his own face greeting him at the fridge. 

For how clean cut the apartment was, technology up to date and only the best of devices placed, there was a homey sense to it. Fridge decorated with magnets of all the places been to, postcards from Lucas’ grandparents in Hong Kong still, and childhood pictures of the two of them together. It was a home away from home, a few floors and some doors away, but he wished it could always be like this, to be allowed to find solace in those golden wings brightening his day more than any sunlight ever could. 

⭑ 🜚 ⭑ ☾ ⭑

One upside many seemed to disregard when talking about the Winged was the many uses there were for wings. For one, Renjun really adored the fact he was never late to class because, even if he might run late by whatever coincidence, he could never be late by  _ flying _ . Which was an indescribable feeling, the wind whipping through his hair, caressing his cheeks, and he should feel scared, so high above ground, rushing between buildings at a dizzying speed, but he never was. Ever since their first shared flight, Yukhei had not once dropped him - arms tight and secure, keeping him close and safe, there was no single reason for Renjun to feel scared. More than that, it was exhilarating, better than any rollercoaster ride could possibly be, he could never get tired of such event.

Although it wasn’t the one Renjun was currently thinking of. Sometime during class the clouds had burst, a sudden and heavy rain that didn’t seem to let up any time soon, and it didn’t work in his favor. Already he had anticipated the sunny blue skies, dressed lightly, left his umbrella at home, and all to end up standing in front of his department building barely evading getting wet. Next to him, Jeno was cramming in his bag for his rain jacket, which was an unfair option since it didn’t permit sharing, all the more so because Jeno just had to be that kind of preppy boy bringing a rain jacket along on a sunny day.

“I hate you,” Renjun grumbled under his breath, staring his best friend down who just shrugged his shoulders in lieu of an actual response. Worse, shrugged on his jacket too, light fabric barely weighing down, perfect for the tormenting humidity that came along with the rain. 

“We both know you don’t.” Jeno’s eyes weren’t the least focused on the way his fingers worked the zipper, staring off into the distance instead. “Besides, your ride’s already here and you don’t see me complaining either.”

Some confused noise escaped the older at that but before he could question his friend - or why university thought it to be a smart idea to group architecture with traditional arts when there was evidently more physics involved which thus led to them meeting all too often in the hallways and at the gates - the answer presented itself. Shielded by his own wings, Yukhei was walking their direction, spared the curious glances they received all too often on the streets.

Their university stood out for three reasons: it was private, it was expensive, and it was one of the few where Walkers and Winged walked next to each other. Outside such safe places, Renjun was all too aware the sight of a winged wasn’t too common, after all, those who could fly wouldn’t need to walk. Nobody wanted to experience busy pedestrian crossings if they could avoid it, so seeing them in the air was less of a rare occurrence than having one on their feet. 

That Yukhei could afford attending it was all too obvious, the Winged were the elite of their society, rich and influential, they had built empires before normal humans had thought of it, and in proportion to it stood their wealth. Similarly, someone whose life consisted of making their life easier would earn well, so affording such education was no biggie to Renjun’s parents either. Only Jeno stood out in their circle, running on a semi-scholarship, his fees calculated on his GPA, and like that it surprised no one that Jeno was always top of his class, outdoing even the two Winged in his major. It would be a lie to say Renjun felt envious of his friend, on the contrary, he sometimes ached knowing how much studying went into all the achievements, it made him feel bad for being no better help. 

Now also, if he took a closer look, he could see the dark circles below Jeno’s eyes, cheeks looking slightly sunken in, not because his friend wasn’t fed properly, dear heavens, Aunt Lee fed everyone until stuffed to the brim, so it must be faulted to lack of sleep instead. Straight forward empathy didn’t suit him, though, and the last time he had attempted such, Jeno had been so stressed and upset they had fought and not talked for weeks after. Nowadays Renjun knew better than that, lightly raising his eyebrow as he looked at the taller and offered, “If you need a break from shitty instant coffee, let me treat you to something proper. Want to go for some drinks after your paper?”

“Hn?” Jeno looked lost for a moment, not connecting the dots the older’s mind had already drawn. “Yeah, sure. When exams are over then.”

Renjun wanted to protest, wanted to point out that exams were two weeks away still and the paper offered a better deadline but before he could do such, the younger had already pulled away, waving his hand farewell and doing this dude-bro-ish mixture of high five and handshake with Lucas in the passing. A second later, the water in front of the left behind man stopped falling, rain blocked by tender gold stretched forth, a silent invitation accompanied by Yukhei’s bright smile.

This one, it was the advantage Renjun had been thinking off before. All too many people thought wings were great for flying only, for looking imposing and intimidating and carrying their owners around when it was so much more. They were a shield from reality and rain, sometimes a roof and sometimes a blanket, sometimes they were the storm blowing one’s body away and sometimes the breeze that eliminated all sorrow. So much more, they had always been many different things besides the imitation of birds but not many wanted to listen and even less cared.

With a sigh, gaze still lingering on Jeno’s disappearing form, Renjun stepped forth, into Yukhei’s anticipating hold, fingers easily finding home around his waist, palm spanning the distance between his ribs and hips in a way that left him feeling hot. Smoothly, with a faint rustle, gold shifted into place, a comfortable enough posture for having to keep the rain away, and Renjun remained dry.

“Is he doing it again?” Lucas asked, voice quiet and warm, free hand reaching for the backpack the younger held in his hand, and only when the clattering art tools had found home on Yukhei’s back did he set a slow pace for them to walk. The trains and busses weren’t the most comfortable means of transportation for Winged, Renjun knew, but already it felt natural to head to the station to make use of exactly those, because there was no going home alone when already he was picked up.

This time Renjun actually didn’t need to ask, easily he was aware of what Lucas meant because by extension they all were friends, and his worries were Lucas’ worries, as much as Lucas’ worries were his. “Yeah… I just hope he doesn’t pass out this time...” Jeno had, in winter, from overworking himself as much, had barely finished his last exam before crumbling in the halls, and Renjun had worried himself sick for hours. It had been one of the worst times in his life, second only to the event of Lucas literally getting his leg pulled and crashing to the ground, breaking his arm in an attempt to catch his fall when his wings hadn’t been enough. The younger had babied him for weeks after, and then had been met with his father praising him for making such good caretaker for the Mark Lee in the future. His efforts had never quite felt as invalidated.

“I’ll throw a party after it’s all over. You should invite him, then he can maybe relax for once.” Words uttered close to his ear, there was no way Renjun didn’t hear, Lucas’ warm breath standing out even in the summer heat, tickling his ear and playing with his silvery strands. Like a starved man he paid attention to every little word, as if it would sate his hunger and leave his stomach stuffed.

“That’s actually a good idea…” One he hadn’t thought of himself, if only it wasn’t his party, he had never felt comfortable inviting anyone else even if Lucas had told him time and time again to do so. Such might be faulted to his younger age too, it was only the second time he got to attend, he hadn’t dared invite underage guys to a party he had expected to run wild. It had, in fact, been a wild party already the prior year, this time the level could only increase. “Thank you for letting me.”

“You know you always can!” Lucas laughed, sound like sun rays turned into a melody, cozy and warm, something to soak up like an alligator the light. “But in exchange,” the older dared, voice teasing but soft, a gentle nudge more than a demand, “You’ll have to do me a favor too, alright?”

Renjun’s eyes slimmed a bit at such phrasing. There were little boundaries left between them, he highly doubted any plea phrased like this was good for him. At the same time, Yukhei might as well have just asked such favor on its own, one puppy eyed look at the younger and already the wingless human would be agreeing, a detail both were well aware of. As part of a trade it simply was easier to accept, not that it lessened any of his suspicions either way.

Just about to answer, his words were only stuck in his throat for he saw their bus arrive, and with as much speed as he could muster, the smaller darted out from beneath the cover to catch the bus, holding the door open with his arm. It was easier for Lucas to catch up, one flap of his wings easily allowing him to cross some several meters, droplets shaken off simultaneously so those golden feathers wouldn’t drip water all throughout public transportation. With his most polite smile, Renjun stuck his transport card to the check-in point while trying to ignore the flabbergasted look of the driver. A Winged using such basic means of transportation simply was not that common, not unless they were injured or otherwise hindered. Renjun couldn’t blame the middle-aged man for staring, neither any of the other handful passengers. So long as Yukhei didn’t look bothered, he also wouldn’t speak up on his behalf.

Beyond the standing area usually reserved to young mothers and their buggies or people bringing along their bikes, such space now taken up by Lucas and his wings, Renjun sat down, arms folded on top of the horizontal bar so he could look at his childhood friend. “How much will I suffer with this favor?” He asked, seamlessly picking up on their earlier topic of conversation whilst his eyes tracked the other’s movements, placing their bags on the empty seats, water dripping down white hair, a hue that would so easily look unnatural on anyone else. But the Winged simply were like this, outstanding in the most absurd of features and if it simply were less common hair colors. 

“Once you get off your high horse? Not at all,” the taller answered with ease, words that would have left anyone else suffering a spurt of violence. Only Lucas was permitted such free ride, jabs no one else could get away with, because no one quite had seen Renjun grow up like the adolescent right in front of him. “You’ll have a great time, trust me! You know I wouldn’t pressure you into anything you hate!”

Such, the younger wanted to protest, point out that was not true but it was. Their pranks had mostly been one-sided, Yukhei ever too trusting, believing people spoke with golden tongues because his own was befitting his wings, not spoiled and split by lies and roundabouts. Yukhei was forward, naive if only because he thought people were like him, acting without hidden agenda, and Renjun had ever since tried to shield the worst from his best friend.

All too well he could remember their time in middle school, one of the few worldwide where Winged were more common than Walkers, where the latter belonged to the especially rich or gifted or were tied to their flying counterparts by circumstance. Renjun, back then, had decided to follow Lucas rather than Mark, had not attended the same school as the Lee son had albeit it had been expected of him.

There was a certain irony to the job of a caretaker, for as much as it was an inherited job, not many actually had children to pass their occupation on to. The world got busier, technology sped things up, and too few had the time to go out and find someone else, most often another caretaker on the job and then either of the two would have to give up their position and the spot was left empty. Not everyone’s fate was quite written into stone as would be Mark’s and his, no matter how much Renjun liked to evade it, parts by chasing after Lucas instead.

Back then had been the worst of rebound. His golden boy, always forthcoming and charming around everyone, had been misunderstood, and the higher up the Walkers were in social ranks the more likely they were to feel jealous of those whose entire nature made them better, superior even. They had gossiped, had talked bad about  _ that annoying one _ , had accused Lucas of being fake and two-faced. Renjun had hated it and while not believing violence was a smart solution to solving problems, his kind of always kept low to a jesting manner, there had been one or another occurrence he had used more force than necessary to shut them up, had swung his backpack around a bit too fast to make sure to hit them or thrown his ball too hard during physical education. He was aware he couldn’t always make everyone keep quiet but if at least they kept quiet around Lucas…

“I hate that you’re right,” he thus grumbled under his breath, bothered by it but not really. There was something outstanding to knowing he was taken care off, that whilst the whole world might look down upon him, at least Yukhei would forever remain standing by his side, shielding him from the ugly sides of the world with his beautiful golden wings. 

His fingers reached forth, and like an automatic reaction they shifted, feathers rustling with the remaining moisture of the rain as the muscles moved forth, until his knuckles could brush along their silky texture, feeling the warmth and the wet beneath his fingertips alike. Behind him, he could hear some school girls giggle, a sound he was all too used to. Most likely Lucas would end up with another slip of paper with a number scribbled down on it and while that didn’t bother Renjun per se, he could never deny that rush of satisfaction when the paper was trashed without second thought. Once he had asked as to why, for the reason to turn down even a model-like young woman, but the answer he could not remember. It must not have mattered much. 

⭑ 🜚 ⭑ ☾ ⭑

Saturday marked his doomsday, once Lucas was done with his exams and had a day to rest. The older had been lucky this term, with two courses that demanded a paper instead and allowed work to be spread out, two exams and one course during the summer holidays allowed for an easy transgression into the more relaxed weeks. And to drag Renjun into all of his messes. It had him grumpy just thinking about it, chopsticks lazily poking at his eggs for late breakfast, cold now that he had gotten up so much later than his parents but he had no right to complain when they had actually made some for him. Only his tea was steaming hot, serving as his only solace as he stared down at his phone, waiting for any sort of message from his best friend.

He wasn’t certain what exactly Yukhei had planned for them for this day, neither where nor who nor what, all he had been told in advance was to keep his day clear for his best friend. When the small device finally dinged, he both perked up and deflated quickly, the sender not who he had hoped for.

“Heard we’re up for your party next week,” Jaemin’s message read, followed by a string of emojis Renjun didn’t even bother try analyze. Neither did he care to correct the assumption it would be his party. At the end of it, there was another text reading, “Can we crash at your place after?”

A simple thumbs up was all Renjun offered in response. No way was he going to send his two friends on an almost hour long ride home when his apartment was so close to Lucas’ and their guest room available almost all the time. Especially not Jeno who always ended up working himself to the bones, Jaemin and Renjun were luckier in that regard. Just for that reason, and after another moment, he wrote the future kindergarten teacher, “Party at 9, let’s go to the usual bbq at 7” prior turning his phone face down. If Lucas didn’t bother answer, then he might as well enjoy his breakfast. 

...or try to, he still didn’t feel all that hungry, mindlessly picking up bites here and there. It didn’t get better when he heard the upstairs door opening and, moments later, his mom was skipping down the little staircase. It hadn’t interested him as a kid when there had been a little gate to prevent him from crawling up and hurting himself when toppling down and it interested him all the less now that he knew exactly where that door was leading to. 

Her steps slowed down, likely when seeing him sitting all along the open space that was their living and dining room. Jaemin sometimes called this apartment the most impressive one he had ever seen, Renjun sometimes would like some more sense of privacy. Especially with how their apartment was literally connected to the Lee’s ever since the Winged had bought one more floor and renovated some of it not long after Renjun’s third birthday, including this new connective feature. At least they had thought of installing that door… 

It was annoying enough to know the kid who had received more attention from his own parents was living right above him, it was worse to see the metaphorical barrier between work and private life to be basically non-existent, only shut by that door. He could understand the reasoning, his parents were simply charged with taking care of the mundane works, sometimes also acting as assistants working from home, updating their Winged about appointments or answering quick mails, they were like modern day butlers mostly.

When he had been fifteen years old, Misses Lee had needed to go to England for business and his mother had needed to come along. As the time had aligned with his school vacation, Renjun had been allowed to come along. In theory, it had sounded really cool - one week almost entirely spent on his own, exploring London and doing whatever he felt like doing. In theory, because that’s where it had stopped. In reality, he had been knocked down by his jetlag, had been sleeping well past noon, spent barely a few hours on walking around and then he had used his time on spending dinner with his mother and Misses Lee and then been stuck with a curfew, meaning games and art had been his only companions. That, and watching British TV, including some episodes of Downton Abbey in which Mister Carson had done pretty much all his parents were doing nowadays.

“You’re still here?” His mother asked a bit surprised but not disappointed, the span of her steps increasing as she stepped closer, ruffling up his already messy from sleep hair and pressing a kiss on top of his head. “I thought you’re over at Xuxi’s today.”

“‘ll go later,” Renjun mumbled around a bite blindly taken, his eyes tracing after his mother whose figure skirted around in the kitchen for a bit only to return with a mug of tea similar to his own. She didn’t seem to be in a hurry which was already an improvement to usually, one he eyed with a hint of suspicion. “Are you done with work already?”

There was a hint of surprise on his mother’s face, as if she couldn’t actually fathom the words she had heard or needed some time to process them first. With this line of work, he couldn’t blame her for it, always thinking for someone else… He didn’t exactly crave to be the same. “Oh, darling,” his mother eventually ended up sighing, reaching for his hand across the table plate, “Didn’t you hear? Xuxi's going to get his own assistant soon so we're training her currently. She's taking over some of my workload for the time being so I have more time for you, too, my dear."

For a moment or two, Renjun just looked at her as he tried to wrap his mind around this new information. He was tempted to ask why Misses Huang didn't train that woman and yet he didn't want to, even without all of that it was all too obvious there had been some strings pulled in the back. It came with knowing one another, or else he also wouldn't have spent his childhood with his _ chicken nugget friend _ . 

"Aren't you happy?" His mother asked after a little delay, sounding almost hesitant, and it didn't fit her. Always acting her part as a tough and confident woman, Renjun sometimes forgot no one was freed of their insecurities entirely, and as many insecurities of his were brought forth thanks to his parents, with a bit of a stupor he had to realize it worked in the reverse too. "I thought we could go out for dinner sometime or to the cinema or something," she added a bit shyly, as if she weren't certain of how it would be received. There was no way she could be. 

"No," Renjun mumbled finally, poking some more at his breakfast with his chopsticks, "I'd like that. Was just confused hearing about Xuxi's new caretaker…" 

His mother released a sound if empathy, trying her best to smooth the situation over, changing topics towards something not work related, like this movie trailer she had seen recently or how she found a movie theater playing old Chinese films too, a bit if this and that, and it worked. For the time Renjun lazily finished breakfast, he was distracted by his own mother's chatter that, much to his favorable surprise, was never off-topic. Even his museum dreading mom had put effort into researching special exhibitions on art just for his sake, an effort to make up for lost time with such pure heart he couldn't possibly deny her. 

That didn't mean his thoughts stopped, after breakfast and as he got ready, the stubborn reminder of Lucas getting a caretaker prevailed, occupied his mind and ate away at his attention, up to the point he almost tripped when stepping into the elevator. Lucas still hadn't shot him message then but it was Lucas, after all, the boy he had grown up with, who surely wouldn't mind if Renjun came by without declared time. Especially after it had been arranged for this day. 

"Huang Xuxi!" Renjun called out at the same time as he slipped out of his flimsy shoes, "Why didn't you tell me you'd get a caretaker soon? You should have asked your mom about me being your caretaker, it would've been better than being with this Lee kid and-" Abruptly his feet halted, making a squeaky sound on the polished floor, but his own ears were deaf to it, mind taken by the beauty that had unfolded in front of him. Right there, next to Lucas’ beautifully golden pair of wings, was one of the deepest black he had ever seen, so dark it seemed to absorb all light around and yet, as the sun hit it just right, the tips of nocturne feathers sparkled like little stars in the night sky.

If just he strained enough, he was certain he could make out constellations in their midst, tiny diamonds of sunlight scattered across the expanse of darkness, and he had always loved the stars so much, had spent hours of his young childhood with a measly telescope on Lucas’ terrace so he could observe the glittering lights so far above. How useless that seemed now when he had the stars right in front of him, within his reach, when he could so easily touch them if he just dared to. 

The night sky and the golden sunlight, both of them were right there, in front of him, manifested in the shape of wings, one pair so neatly folded to the back and the other spread out, let loose behind the backrest until Renjun was certain the golden tips would brush along the floor and collect dust once again. Between those two the contrast was beautiful, the the warmth they both radiated, incomparable strength, a solace that could not be put into words but that he had always adored so much. Sometimes it bothered him how stupidly envious his friends seemed to be of his being with the Winged, living so close to them and having such exclusive rights, but at a moment like this, when he could so freely look at their wings, at the feathers beautifully spread out, the muscles shifting underneath, was allowed to zero in on the tiny downy feathery surrounding the connective point at their shoulders, he considered whether they weren’t right, whether he wasn’t actually blessed to be allowed to look at them like this. 

“-njun! Renjun! Hey!” Lucas’ fingers snapping loudly pulled him out of his daze, although the younger pretty much had to force his eyes off the sight to focus on the bronzen fingers hovering in front of his best friend’s face. Eyebrows furrowed a bit and a flicker of something in his puppy like eyes that Renjun could not name. “Are you with us again?”

“Hm?” The only wingless man looked confused for another moment unto it made sense, that he had apparently zoned out for a few seconds too long, a span of time that had become notable. “Oh, yeah, sorry,” he mumbled, his earlier fight had already left him so his steps were lighter as he stepped closer to the arrangement of couches, dropping into his favorite loveseat right across where those two were sat on the cushions. The new angle allowed him to look at the unknown man for real now, the smaller but round eyes with their funny eyebrows on top, the sharp cheekbones and soft pink lips. When put next to each other, it seemed like Lucas and that stranger were opposites befitting of their wings - where Lucas’ cheeks were soft and asking to be pinched, the stranger’s were slightly sunken in and defined, Lucas’ plush and rosy lips next to the thinner and paler pair. It was a contrast so easy on the eyes Renjun found it easy to indulge in it, at least for as long as he was allowed to.

“And I’m not yet receiving a caretaker, Jun, she’s still in training.” The older’s smile was warm, not the least put off by the Walker’s earlier and cut off rant, all the less when there’s a more interesting topic in question. Moving along with his words, Lucas pointed here then there while saying, “Renjun, Mark. Mark, Renjun.”

Silently the latter repeated the name that tasted awfully familiar on his tongue for another moment, realization coming down on him just another moment later, and he found his assumption approved the very second he saw the expression of a kicked puppy on his best friend’s face. It wasn’t just any Mark, not some runaway boy or random encounter Lucas had made at some point in his life, rather, it was the boy living in the apartment right above Renjun’s, the boy he had heard so much about ever since his childhood to the point he had grown to detest the Lee heir without even knowing him. Except this was a matter of impossibility now, no longer an unknown person, a stranger he wouldn’t recognize, because the person he wanted to avoid was now in front of him.

At closer inspection, Mark seemed flustered, whether it was for intruding on a friendship already so well developed or for Renjun’s earlier rant, the younger didn’t care - didn’t want to care. Renjun only glared at the new acquaintance he didn’t want to make, inevitable as it seemed to be, and then at his best friend again before he flopped onto his back, arms crossed on top of his chest whilst he stared at the ceiling. Now, that is, he knew why Lucas had said he wouldn’t enjoy it…

“Jun-” Lucas started but was as quick to shut up when perceiving the younger’s glare, shrinking underneath it, as funny as it must be when a six foot and above Winged shrinked beneath a simple look. Funny to anyone but Renjun right then. Mark, on the other hand, was smart enough to shut up for the moment, and the youngest would very well prefer it to stay that way for the remains of the day, regardless of how unlikely it seemed to be.

⭑ 🜚 ⭑ ☾ ⭑

If Renjun had considered Mark annoying before, throughout all of his life when his parents had kept talking of the Lee kid instead of to him, when he had been predicted to work for the rest of his life with him, or during that afternoon at Lucas’ home, it was nothing compared to what came after. Just this afternoon the tearing sound of paper echoed through his room for the fifth time, as he ripped another sheet out of his sketchbook, throwing it to the side where it flowed to the ground like a feather, swinging this way and that. It was annoying, so very bothersome, the way those black wings kept occupying his mind all whilst golden feathers dangled above his head.

Three days had passed since, three days of comparing Mark’s wings with Lucas’ in his mind, the black sleekness and golden warmth, one absorbing the light whilst the other radiated it, whether both pairs would be as strong, able to carry the weight of another person with such ease. It was irritating, simply because he had never cared about anyone but Lucas like that, it wasn’t as if Renjun just walked down some path in university and wondered which Winged could do what, simply because he didn’t care. Then again, he had seldomly seen a pair of wings quite as beautiful as these two, all their highlights only emphasized by one another and-

Mild disgust with himself overcame him as he saw yet another sketch of black wings appear on his sketchbook, trying to capture the shift of light on them when that, in first place, had been impossible. Not the whole of the feather had absorbed light, not the spine of each of them, only the tips of the tendrils and it seemed such impossible deed to capture, the freckles of light adorning such beautiful black. It made him angry, upset with himself that he was giving so much attention to someone who likely didn’t deserve it - shouldn’t deserve it - when he had never been quite as obsessed with his own best friend’s wings to the point of manically wanting to capture their beauty.

With a frustrated grunt, he flung the whole of his sketchbook to the ground as he fell down onto his back, taking in the appearance of the fairy lights hung up, the little bulbs not glowing as he hadn’t turned them off but carrying the weight of so many small pictures above. As if they were guilt tripping him, Lucas’ golden fallen feathers fluttered with the breeze of his open window, throwing shades of yellow and orange to the wall. They were guilt tripping him because he was thinking of someone else’s wings, easy as it seemed to be, and yet it wasn’t. Or he didn’t think it was quite as easy now because it made no sense in first place.

Naturally it was upsetting that, after years of only paying attention to Lucas’ wings, it seemed estranging to suddenly care about someone else’s because the sensation was so new and he hated such change. Not to mention it had to be Mark Lee’s, of all people! The one person on this planet he’d tried to avoid like the pest, the boy he had kept ranting about to Lucas when Yukhei’s mother had been the one to praise him for his good grades because his own had been too busy making sure Mark remained top of his class at any given time. Maybe he had spoiled his own parents because he hadn’t spoken up, hadn’t demanded them to praise him, too, and hadn’t shown any struggles with studying when he had always had Lucas to help him out but it wasn’t useful, had somehow cursed him to adjust his self-worth based on what his parents told about Mark and he hated it, detested it so much. It didn’t seem fair that now, out of all Winged possible and available, it were Mark Lee’s to haunt his mind.

And wings - he respected them. The symbol of freedom, the ability to soar up and hover above everyone else, the strength they entailed that allowed the most enduring of their sort to cross oceans in a single day… He couldn’t hate them, not the wings that stood for so many things, that looked beautiful as they made colored sand fly up high to come down on their carriers and the surrounding people like colorful rain, which looked so silky slick when wet from the rain, a symbol of majesty and the rulers of their lands. So he couldn’t disrespect those feathers resembling the night and all its glinting stars, meaning the only thing he could do was at least disrespect everything else that came with being Mark Lee - starting from that stupid face looking like a squirrel monkey’s. Except squirrel monkeys were kinda cute so that apple held a worm and-

The ringing of his smartphone was a welcome distraction, hand ghosting around his sheets for a bit until he had found the small device and could lift it to his ear, picking up a call without even looking at the caller’s ID. “Yeah?”

“Injunnie,” Jaemin’s voice immediately came through the speaker, squeaky and loud and almost shattering said man’s eardrums, “You have to help me! You see, I just had my last exam and my classmate was supposed to go for a drink with me to celebrate but they just canceled on me so now I’m all alone for tonight but I already got dressed up for going out and-”

“Shut.” Tiredly, Renjun rubbed his temples, this was a bit too much and a bit too sudden for him to deal with, much as Jaemin was pleasant company, sometimes his shrill voice gave him a headache. Then again, one look at the papers strewn out along his bedroom floor, of winks painted with charcoal and ink and he wanted to retch. It was a minute decision, one glimpse at the discarded drawings was sufficient though, as he called out, “Just text me where. I’ll get ready,” and hung up.

So that’s the story how, almost two hours later, Renjun found himself standing in front of the elevator leading up to one of the city’s most exclusive rooftop bars. Not that any of them wasn’t, simple the fact they were rooftop bars made them exclusive, commonly based on the association between the roofs and their proximity to the skies and the creatures roaming these skies, flying so freely, their human appearances so beautiful. Roof spaces were expensive, in high demand, upmarket and rarefied. And this one simply ranked higher than that, still, the bar for models and singers, for those that were more important than lawyers or doctors or whatever else there could possibly be. Renjun never really thought too much of it when those two he was most involved with  _ were _ supposedly lawyers and doctors.

Spotting Jaemin was easy, once he was up and in the open space, because the striking blue hair stood out even amidst colorful wings. Blue hair, and the black wings just a few yards down that had him freezing in place for another moment, shocked into stupor by possibly being confronted with the person he last wanted to see. It took him seconds, or maybe a minute, two of, until he spotted the miniscule difference that seemed so stupidly detailed it shouldn’t even count. Those wings, the ones he was currently looking at, did not reflect the light in sparks of white but much rather in every shift of the rainbow. Light broken, not absorbed, there were sparks of all possible hues, a diamond breaking apart light but this one was not clear but solid black.

This difference, minute detail, it was sufficient for him to tear his eyes away, take in the appearance of the man with bleached platinum hair, white eyes, straight nose, but not the slightest hint of similarity with Mark Lee. Yet, those wings were proof enough, more of a sign than anything, that their genetics were the same. Colors were hereditary, like a family symbol they were passed down from father to child, an awful giveaway towards an affair with a human woman too. Because of that, because of this shared trait, Renjun was a tad too aware that whoever this was was related to the man he despised so much.

For another second, another moment, he kept looking at that pair of wings, the beautiful black with its mesmerizing sparks that was beautiful on its own but seemed to pale when compared to the constellation littered night sky that were Mark’s. A thought he didn’t enjoy, couldn’t understand, Renjun shook his head as he gave up on it and walked down the remaining distance to Jaemin whose eyes had already caught onto his figure, gleaming despite the dimming light, bright amusement curling around his lips.

“Caught up by a new eye candy?” The younger promptly teased, simultaneously as he slid a drink closer, one he must have ordered by the time Renjun had said to arrive promptly for the ice cubes had become a bit smaller already, color diluted, but it was his favorite so Renjun would not complain.

Lightly the newly arrived frowned, eyebrows furrowed at the suggestion that he had ever had an eye candy in first place. “No,” he muttered slowly, eyes darting back to the black winged man, one of the majestic befeathered limbs stretching out to the side, across the railing of the room, in an imitation of a waking up cat reaching forth with its paws. Like that, the many beautiful and colorful sparks seemed to become all the more obvious, a dotted highlight of rainbowed colors. “No, just… A relative of someone I got to meet recently, I guess.”

“Someone you recently… Oh, Renjun! You should have told me!” Jaemin started excitedly, entirely to exhilarated for this kind of situation, both hands clasped around their smaller match while the blue haired’s expression brightened by the split second. “You’re finally starting to work, is that it? Oh baby, you better treat us to dinner once it’s time or I’ll be quite upset and-”

“Wait- wait, wait!” Renjun hissed in return, brows furrowed further until he could envision the line drawn between them, felt it carved into his skin. “What do you mean I’ll start working?”

Instantaneously Jaemin’s face fell, confusion replacing mirth, eyes growing wider as if trying to exploit that which was possible. “You met Mark, so I just thought-” By the second Renjun’s expression grew more irritated, caught off-guard by such topic he had not anticipated, and in return Jaemin explained more, “I mean, you recognized his half-brother so-” Another beat, another glance, another question. “You did know he has a half-brother, right? I mean, Renjun, he’s literally-”

Quickly Renjun’s eyes darted back and forth between his friend and that stranger with the suddenly familiar wings, the shift of sparks that came from folding the stretched wing in, an almost straight line turned into a short bunch of dots. Half-brother… It explained the wings, the beautiful black both must have had inherited from their father.

“Lee Taeyong. A famous model and rapper, I’m actually surprised you didn’t know about him yet. Anyways, he talked about his family situation recently and posted a selfie with Mark and…”

The reflection, those were usually faulted on the mothers. Misses Lee’s wings reflect the light in the same way, tiny sparks of white that danced across her sandy wings, making it look like the desert sparkling beneath the sun. It was a more subdued color, one might think it would pale next to others like her own son or Lucas but he found it a reassuring color, soothing in its simplicity, like watching the most natural environment surrounding them. 

“...told that he was born in first marriage but after his parents divorce he stayed with his mother. Stays in contact with Mark mostly online because of work but…”

The longer he looked at the colorful sparks, the more he felt reminded of those same white sparks, the white dots, that contrasted with the white blurs on Lucas’. No matter how off it had him feeling, the fact that he was thinking about someone else’s wings, with this mirror pair so close to him, almost within his reach, he couldn’t help recalling their image, their every shift and movement.

“...they’re close so sometimes you find pictures of them together. But I can’t believe you didn’t know! Renjun, he’s your boss, you can’t just evade everything surrounding Lee Mark forever and-”

At that point, Renjun stopped listening. Instead, he flicked the straw out of his drink before raising the glass to gulp its content down in one go. “I need another,” he stated when his eyes caught on to those dark feathers yet again. This night, the evening he wanted to escape them, they felt like a curse, haunting him when he didn’t want them to, following when he hadn’t asked. It drove him crazy in ways he hadn’t thought possible before.

Jaemin allowed him another, then a third, and when Renjun’s mind began to feel foggy, thoughts delayed and eyes finally no longer focused on those wings but his friend instead, only then did the younger speak up again. What bad luck he had, only, for the blue haired adolescent didn’t change topic, no, Jaemin wasn’t that kind. Rather, he picked up right where it brought upon the older the biggest annoyance by asking, “So - how exactly did you meet up with Mark if not for work, baby? Didn’t you say you would refuse to do so under any and all circumstance?”

Lacking delight, Renjun wrinkled his nose. The ice cubes clattered as he stirred them around, and it took hardly any time did he lower his head in shame, his voice quiet as he admitted, “Xuxi made me… He’s closer to Mark than I assumed and I just- Goodness!” An exasperated groan slipped his lips as he dropped his head onto his crossed arms. “I’ve kept cursing out Mark for all of my life and Xuxi had to take the worst of it and he- Shit, Jaemin! He’s friends with Mark! To the point it matters to him that I like Mark.”

Jaemin’s digits were tender as they caressed through his hair, playing with the dyed strands, wrapping them around his fingers, nails scraping along his neck as if Renjun were one of Jeno’s cat and not a human being. But he didn’t mind that, not when it had him calm down all that easily. 

“I’m sorry to say this, baby boy, but I guess you’re stuck now. Mark will inevitably become your boss, Injun, and Xuxi won’t leave your side even when you’re old and wrinkly like a raising. Maybe it’s time you grow up and accept the situation as it is.” Words that seemed so harsh, Renjun knew it was the truth he had to hear, as much as he despised it, there was no escaping it now. Not when Xuxi had started to trap him in such inevitable way, cornered him like an injured animal but if there’s anyone he’d be able to forgive it would be Lucas alone. 

From beneath his lashes, Renjun glared at the younger, at that stupid shark smile that was attractive to seemingly everyone, but that was nothing new. Neither was the tissue with a phone number written on it Jaemin had come back from the bar with. Just another usual to their nights out. “I hate you,” he confessed, easy as it was to say when it lacked all bite, had little but awful resignation in his tone.

“You don’t,” the blue haired hummed cheerfully, and skipped down his high chair to take the walk to the bar again, to get them another round of drinks. Much more than that they wouldn’t be able to take - well, Renjun wouldn’t be able to take. And yet he felt like snorting out loud when he saw yet a tissue show up once again, a different number written in a different color, a name scribbled beneath in the artistic handwriting that was so uniquely female. “But since you brought up that topic - do you remember that girl from my math class who hates me?”

The question was almost too sudden, and Renjun quizzically stared into his drink as he tried to recall whatever Jaemin had said about her - or whether he had ever met her. Mind his focus, girls weren’t who he usually paid attention to, and whilst he paid attention better to the male acquaintances of his friends, he couldn’t remember them either. Probably because they all had been straight as a ruler anyways. Regardless he tried, pushing his lips into a tiny pout to ask, “The one with the pretty ombre?”

“Exactly!” Excitedly the younger clapped his hands, visage so bright it was like turning on the light in the dead of night, a sudden burst of radiance, warmth and joy. “Now, listen to this! She asked me out! Can you imagine? We’ll go out next week then but I didn’t plan anything yet so maybe you can help me out? I mean, you always go do cool stuff with Lucas so you surely know a spot, right?”

A pleased little hum escaped Renjun at the compliment, at someone finally noticing that he did indeed know a lot of spots because Yukhei was as curious as a beagle puppy and sitting at home would grow tiring too fast. They were young, they were still free, not bound to as many expectations as one might anticipate, and he wanted to make the best of it, wanted to spend as much time as was possible with his best friend. Praise and alcohol were a deadly combination, had him preening at his friend as he looked up with bright eyes, leaning forward and over the table. “I’ll send you some! There’s this cute little café that…”

His mouth went on on autopilot, rambling about such story with ease but his vision, attentive as he could be, focused on the same black wings again, the way they shifted and left their place as the owner - as Mark’s half-brother left for the bar. That man, he really was a handsome one, an example of all the best the humane features had to offer, steps light as he walked to the bar to pay what turned out not only Lee Taeyong’s bill, something Renjun only got to know later on, when it was his turn to attempt paying. What caught his attention for good was the view of the model walking to the edge of the bar, where, behind a little gate, was the margin most used to land and depart. Beautiful black, spread out to its full extent, sparkles of so many hues, and then the body dropped. The flutter of wings seemed distant, one powerful beat, and that same person soared up high, wings fading in the darkness of the night, a vague shadow in front of the illuminated buildings. 

Renjun wondered whether Mark would look the same. 

⭑ 🜚 ⭑ ☾ ⭑

The afternoon ahead of Lucas’ home party already saw Renjun lounging outside on the terrace, shadowed by the sun shield, his sketchbook leaned against his raised legs causing scratchy sounds as he scraped his charcoal pencil across its papers. The vision that had bothered him for so long already, it was finally put right in front of his eyes again, that magnificent black he craved to feel beneath his fingertips the longer he looked at it. Originally, he had come to help Lucas prepare everything, put the drinks and snacks on a table, clear the most expensive things away, cover the couches with plastic sheets and linen merely to protect it from the spilled drinks and yet, instead of doing just that, he had been banished to the terrace.

“Don’t strain yourself, Renjun,” Yukhei had said, charming smile on his lips, bare skin glistening beneath the harsh sunlight, “You’ll be hungover enough tomorrow without needing to pull a muscle too.” And as caring as it had been at first, it had turned into a blow to his ego an hour later when Mark had showed up but not been denied upon offering his help. Renjun, who had silently watched from his spot, had only frowned at the occurrence. It had not been as horrible as the words of gratitude he had forced himself to release once the black haired had brought him a drink.

Mark’s flustered expression had almost been adorable. Almost, because Renjun refused to associate any positive expressions with that boy, all the more when the only two adorable boys he knew were Lucas and Jeno, which probably was funny considering they looked like any stereotypical jock in a teen drama. Everyone was in need of a redemption arc, though.

It was easier to draw a certain pair of wings when they were so close to him, when he didn’t have to act on memory alone and a tiny voice inside his head told him that maybe he’d stop obsessing if he got at least one drawing done to the point he was satisfied so he could then erase all traces of his activities for good. A change of tactics he wasn’t exactly certain would end up working out but it gave him something to do while he was left alone outside. Which wasn’t even bad, not when Lucas ever so often kept looking at him through the windows, possibly in the hopes of Renjun not noticing but he always did, it was impossible not to pay attention to the golden winged boy anyways. And then, whenever their eyes met, Lucas would either break into a bright smile and make a stupid face or do some outrageous pose and all of them would make Renjun react in a similar way, only ranging in intensity. 

It had taken the boys just something above two hours to get everything finished to the point Lucas felt satisfied but once they had and were beaten by the heat, irrevocably they ended up coming to the outside. Yukhei easily fell back into the couch, barely so allowing Renjun to pull in his feet before they ended up in the older boy’s lap, stretched out as he decided to give up on drawing for now. Even if his friend wouldn’t mind, he  _ did _ decide to try be at least polite to Mark, the bare minimum of what he could do apparently, and to continue drawing - not to mention drawing Mark without asking Mark - was anything but. 

Rather, his eyes were attentive as the black haired one seemed a bit more shy about moving about, choosing a seat of his own, across from theirs, to sit down too. Wings spread out for a moment to stretch the muscles, quivering from the strain, blocked more of the sunlight streaming down at them at a lower angle now, after the worst of the noon heat had settled. Undeniably fascinating, that’s what it was, to see that unthinkable shift of light, something he wasn’t certain should by physically allowed but there it was, right in front of him. Questioning the Winged, it seemed like a useless task, nothing about them seemed to follow any rules and he just so had happened to meet two of those with the most beautiful sets of feathered pairs.

One of which made him sneeze, feathers that tickled his nose and called for his attention with micro movements, not minding the possibility of snot all across them. An interaction that many seemed to observe with curious eyes, something Renjun had never really understood. He had grown up with Lucas, had nibbled on those feathers at kindergarten age and now people decided it was odd? That, very much so, was odd. Yet, although he could easily slap the finely folded gold out of his face, well aware of the fact Lucas would go along with the movement in an exaggerated way, he was more focused on the bits of dust that had collected there, carefully brushing it off the silky tips.

“We were thinking of ordering pizza before we have to get ready. Are you in?” The oldest asked, and maybe Renjun only remembered Lucas was actually older because Jaemin had forced him to refresh his memory recently and after their talk over drinks. 

His actual response, though, was more about curling his nose in disfavor as he stared at his friend, eyes darting only for a split second to Mark. “Your mom left you a fridge stuffed with food and you want to order pizza?”

“I mean,” the adjacent one spoke up so suddenly Renjun didn’t even think of pinning the blackhaired down with a glare, rather being surprised by the sudden intrusion but who could blame him, if someone was as quiet, they could go down under more easily, “We kind of locked the fridge so people wouldn’t steal Misses Huang’s food… And we already ordered…”

For another moment, the youngest just looked at Mark, processing whether what he had heard right then had been real or just something he had made up after being struck by the direct sun, except his vision wasn’t blurry and he didn’t feel dizzy or any sort of vertigo so what was left was that, yes, Mark had just said that. It took Renjun that long and a bit more before he just scrambled across the couch to tackle Lucas in familiar fashion, pushing the older face down into the cushions, wings swiftly moving out of the way because even if the Winged had the upper hand in theory, in reality Yukhei had always allowed him to have his way, never using brute force to resist when he could just go along. It was endearing, really just so charming, and simply for that reason Renjun never went for it with as much brute force as he would have with Jaemin, for example.

“I was looking forward to her Dim Sum, you idiot! She even specifically made them after I asked!” Regardless of having Lucas face down on the couch, Renjun still pressed a pillow on top of white hair, as if that would aid him smoldering his best friend into death. Not that he’d actually do it, not when killing a Winged was like a death sentence and the only lawyer he’d trust to defend him would end up being his own victim. Second to that was that his life might actually be more boring without his fellow Huang. 

“Your mother probably could-”

Surprisingly, before the youngest even had a chance at shutting Mark up for such sentence, Lucas had already thrown a pillow into the vague direction of his friend. Luckily, this time it didn’t cross the railing to fall down onto the street because last time that had happened, when it had been Misses Huang’s favorite throw pillow which she had embroidered by hand, Yukhei had needed to go for a dive after it before it would end up doing whatever a pillow would end up doing when hitting ground from such height. 

Renjun wasn’t stupid, he knew what his golden boy had done, preventing a discussion that would inevitably haven broken out had Mark dared to mention that his own mother was preparing food for someone else but not her son. Hearing stories from two sides, Lucas had an advantage to him now, something Renjun wasn’t sure whether to hate or feel grateful for. All those things he disfavored about his life and all those advantages Mark had from it, nobody would know them better than Yukhei, and it was only for his best friend’s sake did the smaller not insist on hearing the end of that sentence.

Choosing the more peaceful option, he just smacked the blond with the same pillow he had held in his hands and gave up his position of kneeling on Lucas’ back, skin already stuck together thanks to his shorts and the other’s entire lack of a shirt. “You better ordered my favorite,” he insisted, lips pushed into a pout as he settled back into his prior seat. One glance to the side showed him a somewhat confused Mark, as if the boy didn’t know what exactly had been going on right then. Probably he didn’t. Maybe like this Renjun was able to bear with his situation too.

  
  
  


His body was warmed up, more so than could be faulted on the summer heat, or on the people that were loosely spread out across the entirety of the room, clustered into little groups occupying seats here and there and outside, enjoying the music and the drinks which were exactly at fault for his current situation. For as long as he could remember had he reacted like this to drinking, body heated up, warmer than even during daytime when he was sat in the bright sun, but this was a new high. Seldomly had he felt quite like this, quite as intense, so much more intense than even a few days ago when he had gone out with Jaemin. 

As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t blame it on the drinks only anymore, not when there was another body pressed against his own, heated and warm, familiar and foreign alike. It contrasted too much with the colder metal of the fridge he felt against his back, the place he had originally chosen to rest against to cool down, not anticipating of events playing out quite like this. It was desperate, their kiss, of Tantalus urging for the water he was never once allowed to receive, the grapes he could never reach, filled with an urge he did not know how to fulfill.

In first place, he did not know exactly how this had played out, between returning to Lucas’ place after he had changed his clothes, before anyone else had yet arrived but already receiving his first drink, and being too tipsy to even hold a proper conversation but his idiot of a best friend had literally chained up the fridge so he couldn’t even get some ice cubes for himself. So what if he had been a bit dramatic because of some ice cubes, he was allowed to be dramatic after Jeno had already gotten rid of him, much too distracted by that pretty CEO he’s been pining after for a while now. And Jaemin had been no option because Jaemin with drinks and surrounded by pretty girls was  _ never _ an option. How Jeno could deal with that remained a mystery to Renjun but he wasn’t that eager to explore it either.

Neither should he think of Jeno, not when he was kissing someone, because the last person he had kissed had been Jeno. Maybe also the only other person. Which didn’t mean he wouldn’t have enjoyed to make more of these experiences but realizing at a young age that he was gay, stuck in a conservative family and surrounded by snobby people was a bit of a roadblock in that sense. Until he had found Jeno who had been equally a lost case if for other reasons, and then maybe Jeno had prompted him to overthink this whole coming out part because, as it turned out, his family was a lot more receiving and apparently so was his second family but-

“Stop thinking,” Lucas whispered against his lips, breath hot and moist and all too evident on Renjun’s sensitive skin whose mind short-circuited in an instant. Thinking really was overrated when he could just enjoy more of that kiss, of Lucas’ soft lips on his own, moving more gentle now albeit never lacking the insistency behind it. Greed that had transformed, from uncontrollable hunger to a reigned in claim, like wanting to leave an imprint on the entirety of the smaller one’s self, brandish him, own him, and who was Renjun to resist.

His mind was spinning, from the alcohol and the heat, from those tender lips on his and his thoughts tripping over invisible stones, questions he didn't dare ask, questions of why and how and everything in between. Each of those queries sucked out of him before he could let them roll off his tongue, under the guard of golden wings and shimmering shades they were lost, feathers like a curtain, keeping him hidden from the world, a space of privacy within an occupied place. That really belonged on the list of  _ Wing Advantages nobody thinks of _ .

Breathing was a challenge, oxygen rare when the air in their mouths was passed back and forth, less oxygen than it was heat, something not to inhale too deep lest it'd would burn your lungs and your body to follow, vestiges of a dream, of a gentle kiss that burnt him to ashes and like a phoenix he was rising again. Perhaps too vivid a metaphor to use when, right the next moment, he felt his body rise, warm hands that had curled around his thighs to hoist him up, save him the attempt of breaking his neck in an effort of kiss from having to tilt it back so much. It wasn't the first time Lucas had touched his legs or carried him with ease, hell, there were only so many positions you could carry someone to fly so he shouldn't feel like this, shouldn't be so aware if their difference in size, of the warmth radiating from Yukhei's chest and what must undoubtedly be the older's heavily beating heart. Each of the thumps, they resonated against his own chest, were mirrored in a similar fashion, and it drove Renjun insane.

Lucas' hands so easily splayed the back of his legs, a bit longer fingers and somewhat thinner thighs, Renjun felt ready to bet his limbs could be circled and framed by the taller one's digits with ease. After years together, he had thought to have gotten used to it, their difference in size because one had higher evolution humane genes and one had not, that he would simply never reach that same height or width any of his friends so easily held. He thought. But Lucas had told him not to think and all his prior assumptions vanished into nothingness, were drowned out by the taste of expensive whiskey mixed with cheap coke because they were not low enough to drink beer but not dumb enough to get drunk on scotch on the rocks alone. It was addictive, heavy but sweet, it was like Lucas' perfume that clouded one in, a sweet trap, a flower attracting the bees. Sweeter than should fit such big guy, heady and light, it was elusive as it lasted and every whiff of it asked for more. Every kiss of his asked for more. 

The lack of air had Renjun throw his head back, kiss so forcefully parted when he could do little more than hold on to his best friend - if they could even call themselves best friends when they were currently busy making out amidst the older's party, regardless of whether the kitchen was quaint or not, someone might always walk in, see them, catch them with their hands red as they kissed behind the cover of Lucas' angled wings and it shouldn't be exhilarating as it was, shouldn't excite him and cheer him on, the idea of marking Lucas as his in ways he had never before. An absurd fantasy, the image of kissing his best friend had been such, which now seemed hilarious when Renjun had had way less qualms about kissing Jeno before, of trying out a few of those firsts with the only walking companion he had at such time, who had abandoned him now, for that guy with offensively good looks despite healthy looking dyed hair that was more than mildly irritating, driving him mad. 

Albeit that might have to be faulted on Lucas again, whose lips were warm against the younger's neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses, little points of contact warm and wet, so very Yukhei who always seemed to be accompanied by a hint of mess. Stubbing his toes and dipping his feathers in puddles, running into doors and crashing into things - like a little puppy unsteady on its legs, it had ever since been endearingly amusing to Renjun. It didn't fit this steady control now, this clear desire of wanting something, not shying away, reaching for it to take it away, and if  _ it  _ was Renjun then that didn't seem too bad.

“Xuxi…” He tried to mutter, voice a lot breathier than it was supposed to be, faulted on the sensitivity he currently felt which was all too much, he couldn’t remember having been quite as sensitive before, on the rare occasion he had experienced this. His feet nudged against Lucas’ hips, trying to find support of his own, knees brushing against the lowest of feathers and he could feel the sensitive shivers running down the older’s spine, felt the little tense of muscles beneath the arch of his soles. “What are you… Why-”

Words that were stolen from his lips when they were occupied yet again, Renjun could do little more than make a startled little sound when a dance of their tongues began once more, as if their kiss was a battlefield and French a fight of swords. Dizzying robbery, a claim on his words obstructing his senses and mind. A dire need to hold onto something, his fingers curled tight into the fabric of Lucas’ shirt, trying to find something that would aid him ground himself, as he felt like everything of him was washed away slowly. Like cliffs repetitively hit by the waves, until they caved in, came crumbling down, debris in the sea that was washed away to go missing in the widespread of the ocean.

An answer he could not receive, neither any more of those kisses, when the ugly noise of breaking glass interrupted their space of privacy, not blocked out by golden wings, impossible to remain unheard of when it had been so loud. It startled Renjun plenty but more so he could feel the older tense up, muscles locked in their hold, fingers digging into his flesh, because whatever might have been broken to ruins could easily be of substantial worth to Misses Huang. 

“Fuck…” Renjun whined, a sound he would never admit to having made, and allowed his head to fall back again, forced his fingers into unfurling to release Lucas’ shirt once again. “Go,” he added on, because he could feel the worry radiating from his best friend who wasn’t anywhere close to be as reckless as he so often was made out to be, “Check it… I’ll go catch some fresh air meanwhile…”

Another quick kiss, it was all Renjun received before he was left alone to his scrambled views of the world, and of Lucas, and their friendship, when that same man passed him a quick farewell kiss before leaving him alone to this broken puzzle that was his life this night. When he had decided to come to this party, he had planned to have a good time and some drinks, not to get so cruelly run over by a bulldozer named Huang Xuxi. Who was currently stepping away from him, hesitancy evident but the burden of something having broken down outweighed explanations, and Renjun could muster only a little faux smile to cheer the older on. There was no way he could allow himself to crumble down if fixed by Yukhei’s eyes still.

Seconds that seemed like eternity and too short all at once unto the Winged was gone, the kitchen empty despite his own self, and Renjun felt comfortable in the quietude of it for only so long. The metal against his back didn’t seem soothing enough anymore, the idea of fresh air way more tempting, and with a drink he grabbed in passing, bottled something he hadn’t cared to investigate further, he went out on the terrace. There were still people around, less than before than plenty more than he would have liked, a mixture of wings and legs, smoke that rose up in the air when one or another of them exhaled a lungful of. One of those mouths at fault that seemed a tad too familiar, rosy lips looking sinful in the dark, wet at the spot the wrapped filter hit skin, where the taste would be burnt and a bit stale like old smoke in a room. 

It seemed Mark saw him before Renjun could look elsewhere, eyes meeting across the vast space and they did, the younger found it impossible to resist that pull he called his unfounded attraction to these beautiful wings. His feet carried him over, to the end of the terrace where he could lean against the railing, much closer to those beautiful feathers swallowing the light, the very opposite to the pair that had engulfed him seconds prior, so bright and warm even the shades they created had been light. But Mark’s, even in the black of the night they seemed darker still, the center of a black hole, absorbing all the surrounding light, a magnetic pull affecting Renjun’s hand.

Before he had realized, already was he tracing his fingers along the silken feathers, feeling their smooth surface and the somewhat bristly tips, they were like unpolished wood, raw to the touch and threatening with splinters. Satisfying in a much more natural way, unfiltered and primitive, it was so different to velvet gold, exhilarating all the same. A touch so little yet so intense, he could see it in the tremble of Mark’s fingers as he rose the cigarette to his lips again, a shaky inhale not calmed by its following release, clouds of smoke that danced through the air.

There was no protest, nothing to stop him, so he didn’t, allowed his fingers to dance along the constellations reflected by light, feeling the rough tips of tendrils, the minute quiver of heated muscles wherever he traced his touch. Sensation so addictive, Renjun didn’t have it in him to stop, even when he stepped closer, trying to get to the softer area of those feathers, the inside of the wings, closer to the shoulder, where rectrices were replaced by down, fluffy and soft, less sturdy, more sensitive, not as robust. So close to Mark he heard the breathless intake of air, could smell the hint of tobacco released with an exhale. 

“You and… Lucas…” The older started, voice airy, much like Renjun’s own had been minutes ago when he had tried to talk to the mentioned Winged, “Are you only friends or…?”

_ Only friends _ , or  _ Best friends! _ , or whatever else, it was supposed to smoothly leave his lips, it always had, but when he could still taste Xuxi in his mouth, heady sweetness, addictive taste, the syllables remained stuck in his throat, clogging his trachea like a feather swaying in the breeze. Maybe what he hadn’t been able to express verbally had been conveyed by his eyes, because there was a flicker of something in Mark’s eyes - something dark but burning, resignation and intent alike, a mixture of contrasting emotions Renjun could not tell.

“Then,” Mark started again, interrupted only by another drag of his cigarette, “why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t-” All on his own, the younger broke off. Hate was a strong word, an emotion so crass, and yet he wouldn’t have refused to use it a mere week ago. Then, before Lucas had made a move, had introduced him to his future life, Renjun would have readily admitted to hating Mark but hating someone unknown was always easier than doing the same with someone to have been met. “How would you feel if your parents love another child more than you?”

Almost to a comical size Mark’s eyes widened, big and unbelievable and he choked on his smoke, coughing into his elbow twice or thrice, clearing his throat while remaining mindful of the cigarette that could easily burn the younger’s skin if tilted wrong. “They don’t love me- I mean, they always talk of you! I think I know you better than I know myself because they’re so proud and-”

Somewhat roughly, Renjun pressed his palm against the older’s mouth, a gesture of utter disrespect, bravery he should not show around his future boss. But the respect his parents held for Mark’s was not the same as the one Renjun had for the son, had not met Mark as his boss but as Lucas’ friends and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he valued Lucas’ opinion more than his biased views. The intent was clear, he no longer cared to discuss his family circumstances, much less so when he could splay his fingers out across Mark’s wings all over again.

Through the windows, inside, where the light would reflect like a mirror and obscure the view of them, he could catch a glimpse of Lucas’ golden wings, somewhere at the far back of the living room, out of reach and yet prevalent in his mind. His fingers curled, nails scratching along the spines of some feathers, and instantaneously he could sense the shift, black mass stretching out in rapid, startling speed. A curtain drawn, it cut them off, the railing at his back, Mark’s wing in front of him, he couldn’t help feel cut off, a secret meeting, a silent plan. 

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Renjun finally spoke up, his fingers tracing along the wings more, from the innermost wing to the outermost he could reach, stretching his arm, reaching with his fingers, he felt every little shift. It was intoxicating, more than the alcohol, almost as much as Lucas’ kisses, the sensation so similar and yet so different between those pairs. It was addictive, it had him eager like a child faced with a game of  _ spot the difference _ , and now it was all about touch, about feeling more than he could see, for it was impossible to see, to make out more than Mark, next to those lips absorbing all light. 

In such dim place, the smile on Mark’s lips was difficult to make out, timid and flustered, hesitant. A cute look. Albeit he would blame his drunk brain on having made such assumption come morning, not wanting to admit that this man in front of him was any of those terms he’d much rather associate with some other men in his life. He refused to. 

⭑ 🜚 ⭑ ☾ ⭑

“So why’s he so down again?” Jeno asked, in between slurping up instant ramen and hammering his fingers into the keyboard like a madman. 

“Made out with Lucas and started flirting with Mark,” Jaemin explained cheerfully, always high on the prospect of gossip, so easily entertained, and the crunching of raw sugarcubes followed. How exactly he had managed to get his hands on sugarcubes in a PC room remained a mystery to everyone known.

A confused sound escaped Jeno’s lips, a slip of fingers on the keyboard followed by more hectic mouse clicking that delayed his reply. “I thought he and Lucas had been dating since forever? Why is making out something new?”

“They’re single!” Jaemin protested, scandalized by the mere prospect of any information having gone right past him, missing him and his attentive ears. “Although I don’t get why… I mean, they’re stuck by the hip anyways and they keep going on dates and-”

“You’re aware that I’m right here, yeah? Next to you? Listening to you?” Renjun prodded from above his bag of jellies, the game screen to his left flickering but he didn’t engage. That one time of attempting to join their rounds only to end up with Jeno sulking all day for never having achieved stats that low really had left enough of an impact on him. So whilst Renjun was allowed to come along to observe, nonverbally he had been strictly forbidden to engage. 

“I’ve thought they were dating,” Jeno admitted, simultaneously as a few final hits were landed and then, with a satisfied sound, the black haired leaned back into his chair, instantly reaching for his cup of ramen to finish right then. “So why would he start flirting with Mark now?”

“You know,” Jaemin chirped, “Hate and love are separated by a fine line only.” There was an obnoxious expression on the youngest’s face, as if the game they played was guaranteeing him his win but that game had never begun in first place. 

Or perhaps it had before Renjun had noticed, possibly the very moment he had turned down Lucas’ invitation for  _ brunch the morning after _ with the measly excuse that he was already going out with Jaemin and Jeno and then not extending the invitation, or when Mark had paced around the door opening to the Lee floor for so long even Renjun’s mom had noticed who had then proceeded to forward Mark’s invitation of a movie night which had been denied in favor of one with Jaemin and Jeno and suddenly he was on his second day with these menaces and had no idea what to do about his two troubleshooters. Just the thought of either of those two had him chewing on his jelly worms with more force, grinding them to pieces between his molars. “I hate you two…”

With the very air of  _ I told you so _ Jaemin turned his head from Renjun to Jeno, pointing one accusing finger as if that would explain it all. “See what I’m talking about: A constant state of denial. He wouldn’t even know whether or not he’s been dating Lucas since he can’t even tell the difference between love and hate and friendship! There’s no use raising kids if they end up like this, Jeno - dear!”

“I’m not your kid,” Renjun protested whilst throwing one of his jelly worms at the blue haired, not delighted the least by such accusation, by any of what he had to listen to. At the same time, a little voice in his head muttered to him that he should very well listen to it, subconscious knowledge of those words he heard being maybe more truth than he’d like to admit to himself. 

“I thought you’re dating.” Words that came so easily, like a final line of Jeno declaring he was done with this conversation but Jeno was not Jaemin and even over the distance between them Renjun could spot that Jaemin very much wasn’t.

A topic he didn’t want to touch but that was presented to him right then, when he knew he had cared about Lucas and Mark more than anyone else in one or another way, so adamant to stick with one and stay away from the other, love affairs that had seemed so unnecessary when he might as well spend his time with Yukhei instead, everyone else lacking appeal when he had grown up with such handsome boy and yet, had Mark been along with them, he was certain nothing much would have changed about such situation. Golden and black, a contrast so beautiful, unrivaled, a classic in fashion everyone else liked to copy in turn.

Golden and black, it didn’t leave his mind since he had seen them together, next to each other, their contrasts and similarities so evident, right in front of his eyes. Their different sides that night, of Lucas’ burning kisses and Mark’s burning cigarette, hold so rough, so possessive and passive permission so tender, so soft. Wings that spread out, kept him retained, away from the world, from foreign eyes which were so very annoying, quite like Jaemin’s gaze right then. 

Just for the sake of it, Renjun threw another jelly in his friend’s direction, and if only to shut him up. Or prompt for more. He wasn’t certain which of those two had been more attune to his intent, whether he’d like to hear more or avoid it. Not like that was a choice of his to make anyways.

“Renjun,” Jaemin started anew, voice more gentle, soothing, and the oldest couldn’t help feeling like an injured animal needing to be reassured, “You can’t deny that you and Lucas have always been special. Or that Mark and you are special. And now both of them are hot on your tails so you need to think about what to do next. Your whole life is literally planned around Mark’s and we all know you won’t be able to leave Lucas behind. So just… think about it.”

“I will.” Smiling wryly around his promise, Renjun this time flicked the jelly over properly, allowing Jaemin to catch it with his mouth. Jeno’s gaming only stopped for as long as he needed time to catch one of his own. 

⭑ 🜚 ⭑ ☾ ⭑

Renjun did not, in fact, think about it. Denial and postponal and avoidance seemed a much better activity, until even that was a matter of impossibility. Namely when his mother placed down the sketchbook he had already been looking for for almost a week now on the table, right in front of him and his unsuspecting cereal. A confused sound escaped him at the notion, albeit what should surprise him more was the fact he was already so used to seeing more of her, sharing breakfast more often than not made a huge difference he hadn’t anticipated priorly, had him feel closer to his own mother than their daily family dinner ever had.

“Xuxi gave it to me earlier. He said you left it at his place last time?” His mom asked whilst settling down, coffee in her hands and some papers that were most likely work related. By now, he wasn’t even upset about that anymore, once he had figured out she kept them closeby in case Misses Lee called her for an update or some additional information on whatever, not because she was actually keen on studying all that.

The clock was ticking by a few times until Renjun had managed to catch up with the fact that said last time had been during that home party Lucas had thrown, the day that had marked his avoiding his own best friend not because he was upset with what had happened but because he hadn’t yet digested it. Sensation of foreign lips on his, it haunted him every night again, the memory of strong hands holding him up and the heavenly glow golden feathers had casted upon honeyed skin. Almost too much for him to handle after sobriety had caught up to him. Furthermore it was contrasted by how he had actually replied to some of Mark’s messages, asking about this and that, for once interested in what his likely future boss was up to, outside of those updates his father liked to give him so much.

His best friend who might be more than that after all and whom he had not seen all week long now, and the guy he thought he had hated who defiantly claimed the uppermost spot in his chat history as his. When Lucas had introduced him to Mark for real, it had not what he had anticipated originally.

“He looked a bit down, too,” his mother brought up with a bit of a delay, lifting her coffee mug for a sip, nevertheless her eyes were on the sketchbook, gleaming with curiosity and interest alike. “And he didn’t look too happy about having your sketchbook around, baby. What’s going on with you two now?”

Consideration didn’t claw at the adolescent for too long as he simply flipped to one of the many pages he had already filled, tenderly fine charcoal streaks depicting black feathers to the best of his ability, a mess of lines that made a portray he felt surprisingly content with belatedly. Explanations unneeded, he could see the gleam of realization in his parent’s eyes regardless.

A knowing hum left her lips that were still curled around the fine China because she had taste and cups from some random store weren’t up her lane. Renjun kind of inherited such trait by his surroundings. “You tend to express yourself through your drawings quite well, dear. Did I ever tell you how I realized trying to make you spend less time with Xuxi was futile effort?”

Confusion in his eyes, the younger just looked at her. In all honesty, he couldn’t remember his mom ever trying to make him spend less time with Yukhei but all these times of his childhood he could not recall properly must be accessible by her. Sometimes that made him wonder whether his parents were the villains he betimes made them out to be, then again, the way things were perceived were not always what had actually happened.

“When you were six years old, your grades were quite lacking so we tried to get you tutored. After maybe two weeks, your teacher approached me because you didn’t do your work even when with him. When I asked why, he said you were always drawing with the pencils you were supposed to use for your vocabulary studies, so I checked your notes. The only thing in there were repetitive drawings of stick men and yellow wings. After that, I simply advised you that I’ll have to further cut your playtime with Xuxi if your grades don’t improve, and I’ve seldomly seen someone catch up this fast.”

Hearing his mother’s story, Renjun tried to imagine what back then had been like, what his drawings had looked like regardless of how different it was to his hyper realistic approach to art nowadays. It was challenging enough, all the more so when he could not find any trace of such happenings in his own memories, could only take her words for granted. Once again, his eyes traced to his sketchbook, to the page she was tapping her elegant fingers onto, the ones he knew he had inherited from her, looking more befit of playing piano than doing office work.

“I’m glad to know you’re showing a similar interest in Minhyung now. But that doesn’t explain what’s going on with the two of you now, baby,” she insisted still, stubborn in the way all members of their family seemed to be, eager to get their way and if their paths were paved by obliviousness. “You’ve spent all week at home. This isn’t like you, Renjun.”

“I’m-” The brunet started, only to realize he didn’t actually know how to explain this. Shame curled in his stomach, twisted his guts, at the same time as the heat of embarrassment crawled up his nape, painting his cheeks red. With a sigh his gaze turned down to his cereals, soggy due to their prolonged time swimming in milk. “Xuxi and I crossed a line we shouldn’t have, I think…”

To his relief, his mother didn’t question the details of such story, merely replied with a considerate hum at first. “If you’re not certain whether or not you should have done that, did you consider that you’re not opposing it regardless of whatever’s holding you back, baby?”

“Mark is nicer than I thought, too,” Renjun muttered instead of answering to her question, the looming presence of an answer he had but was unable to give clouding his mind, weighing heavy on his shoulders. The moment he dared consider the honest response to her question, he knew it was a battle lost without fight. Simply because he had never been able to imagine a life without Yukhei by his side, golden warmth a steady company to his days he hadn’t ever questioned, and now he didn’t feel ready for it. His thoughts kept jumping, from Lucas to Mark and from Mark to Lucas. 

For the first time in his short life, he had considered whether he wasn’t actually caught up in some shitty teenage drama show, rivals ending up dating by the time credits were displayed.  _ Ten things I hate about you _ but his list had been way longer than that and no bet had been involved. There had only been a simple introduction, a decision of civility, and he was caught trapped like a fly in a spider web. Yet, the more he thought of Mark the louder Lucas’ charming sides were in his mind, slowly driving him insane when he couldn’t tell right from left and wrong from right in that maze that were his thoughts. 

“When your father can’t decide on what wine to drink when he takes me out, I always tell him to just order both. To some it might seem weird, or that he’s a drunkard or something, and they’ll question why he did that. But not everything that looks wrong actually is.” Her voice was gentle as it carried through the air, more insight than Renjun had been ready to give her credit for. Silent acceptance, he understood it as what it was, the same way she had been about his coming out as gay to her, in his roundabout way of not wanting to have them be upset with him if they actually took it the wrong way. Mothers, he considered, truly were more impressive than many would think.

“Now,” she said, in a chirpier tone, her hands reaching forward to grab his bowl, “let’s free you of that pitiful excuse of breakfast, baby. Misses Lee won’t need me until noon so what do you think of going out for brunch and shopping for some new canvas for you if we still got time?”

This time, finally, Renjun raised his gaze at her, eyes widened a bit in surprise before his expression loosened up, changing into a bright smile. “I’d like that, yes.” Silently, he was grateful for her offering up some distraction, too, because he yet had to feel ready to mull over his plans. 

⭑ 🜚 ⭑ ☾ ⭑

The next time he was up on his ever beloved rooftop bar saw him not looking for his very personal blue haired nuisance, instead he was experiencing some sort of deja-vu, one that shouldn’t surprise him when he was so very aware of this night’s outcome. Anticipation and reality unfortunately weren’t always the same so this time, as he was spotting a beautiful pair of nightsky wings, he felt reminded of that time some weeks ago, when he had apparently seen the ever famous Lee Taeyong. Colorful reflections now replaced with white glints, it wasn’t the older Lee son being sat there.

At first, Renjun hadn’t understood why exactly Mark had asked him out - scratch that, he still wasn’t too certain of that. If it was about getting closer and knowing each other better, in that same way as the older had proposed, they could easily have met up at home, talked sitting on the Lee terrace and get some food from the small store down the black he  _ knew _ the Winged were in favor of a lot. Instead they were here, uncharted territory, neutral grounds. Renjun didn’t exactly know what to do with that thought.

All he knew was that he was awfully lost in the sight of Mark yet again, beautiful matte feathers with gleaming sparks, glazed skin looking like runny honey in the artificial candle light. Thinking back to it, Renjun couldn’t recall Mark ever having worn his hair slicked back, it was a look he hadn’t considered to be quite this attractive, an upgrade to the usual floppy bangs. Mayhaps it was the setting or maybe it was just his own realizations but the longer he looked the more the lines between them blurred, until all that remained was the fact that the Winged looked awfully handsome that night.

His phone vibrated in his back pocket, a custom rhythm making it easier for him to tell it was Lucas trying to reach him, relentless and affectionate like a little puppy, and the simple fact that Renjun did not know how to reply half the time made his heart hurt all the more. There was a spark of hope within his heart that after tonight, after hearing whatever Mark had to say to him, he would find a solution to his struggles, all whilst being a tad too aware of those same words his mother had told him days ago.  _ It might seem weird _ , she had said, but weird Renjun already felt.

With steps more confident than what he felt like, he finally made his way over to the table Mark had chosen for them, seeing how the older definitely had had an advantage to coming here. On other days, whenever he had been coming here with Lucas, he had learnt about the perks that came with flying, simply considering the time that could be skipped having to wait for an elevator to arrive at the ground floor to take him upstairs, all the more when, considering that building was shared with a few offices, there was the evening rush of people going home. 

“Hey,” Renjun silently greeted, sliding into the spot evidently reserved for him, and he tried to ignore the way his heart thumped in retaliation to the way Mark smiled at him, whole face brightening from the force of it. Sitting near the edge of the terrace, where nothing but a line of glassen walls kept them from falling down, he couldn’t help notice the similarity between the other and the model, respective wing curved around the barricade, left to relax where there was more space, where the evening breeze kissed the feathers softly rustling from its tease.

“Hi!” Mark replied cheerfully, back straight but slumping a bit one second later. “I didn’t know what to get you so I didn’t order anything for you yet… Taeyongie couldn’t tell me what you’ve been drinking last time and Lucas wasn’t helpful either but-”

Quickly, Renjun reached forth across the table, putting his hand on top of the older’s to effectively shut him up. The remark about Mark’s older brother explained why this place of all had been chosen, or the least why it had been the alternative to staying at home. He could merely wonder about that query, still, albeit he reasoned it might also have to do with a sense of privacy. Albeit it might sound on in this context, when they literally sat in a bar filled with people, but away from their parents and their wishes, from Lucas’ proximity, it was a different sort of, certainly.

“Don’t fret,” he smiled, “I’ll just quickly fetch myself something and then I’m right back, okay?” Following his words, Renjun barely so awaited the black haired’s nod before he skipped away, making his journey to the counter and back as quick as he possibly could, both for not wanting to leave Mark waiting for any longer than he already had, and out of curiosity as to what exactly their upcoming conversations entailed. Regardless of how much he tried to rush, the time it took him to get his drink felt like too long, had him feel jittery by the time he had returned with his cocktail and settled down again. 

This time, it was on him to start the conversation when his eyes traced the table, seeing the lack of cigarettes he had grown oddly familiar with during that one prior night. “Not smoking tonight?” He teased, only now realizing he had kind of anticipated it. Already he had understood that Mark wasn’t the kind to smoke openly, not the kind to need a cigarette with every morning coffee, but somehow the connection to drinks had already been built.

Immediately a flush rose to the Winged’s cheeks, a subtle red in the lack of light but it was cute, at least to Renjun’s eyes. “Wasn’t sure whether you’d mind…” Shy attitude, it didn’t fit with such majestic looking being, yet the contrast was what made Mark so very charming. Perhaps it was what Renjun felt attracted to, these contradictions of anticipation and reality for it was the same with Yukhei, after all.

“I don’t.” Renjun smiled lightly, clinking his glass with Mark’s in little mockery before he took his first sip. Surprisingly, he didn’t. He could remember that time when Jaemin had picked up on smoking - because, to quote him, “It makes me look hot, Injunnie!” - he had been way less delighted. Albeit part of that must be associated to the stench Jaemin’s cigarettes had brought along. “You talked to Lucas about meeting me?”

Just the idea of had him feel like a traitor towards his own best friend who was maybe more than that, because he was so evidently neglecting Yukhei, yet he found time to meet up with Mark instead. Conclusions were easy to jump to in such a situation, and Renjun wouldn’t even be able to deny such. It was unfair from his side, he knew, it was specifically why he had kept his next days free to make it up to Lucas in whatever way possible eventually. 

Heat, again, rose to Mark’s cheeks, flustered state emphasized further by the way he started to fiddle with his little box of tobacco sticks and lighter, delaying his answer further. “I talk with Lucas about you…” A rectification of Renjun’s earlier words that seemed to be more than that, a certain pinch of something special that took the younger too long to realize. “But not lately… I don’t want to look like I’m trying to pinch you from him…”

Silence passed on for a few seconds, long enough for the older to have lit a cigarette and swallowed down the smoke with some cocktail concoction, and only then did Renjun feel able to catch up again. “You talk to him about me?”

If any possible, Mark seemed to shrink in on himself further. More alcohol that was swallowed down in an attempt to loosen one stiff tongue. “I mean- I kinda do but only because I really like you and-”

“You don’t know me-”

“I know enough! At least to know I like you,” the Wing retorted, nervously tapping his cigarette against the ashtray’s border when there wasn’t enough ash to fall off in first place. “It- You- I mean, your parents- They talk about you a lot. And your mom always showed me pictures and videos of you, Renjun. Like, you’re really handsome, and I thought you’re really cute since you were a child but you never wanted to meet me so, like, yeah… I just… like you…”

Lightly, Renjun frowned hearing this, words he had not expected when he had come here, words that made his heart beat faster within his chest, as if it was the envoy running from Marathon to Athen to convey the fortunate news of victory. He might die of it, from it giving out from the strain, or at least so he felt as he stared at his opposite for longer. “We’ve barely talked-”

“We talked enough-” Slowly but surely, Mark stuck his lower lip out, an adorable pout, and Renjun no longer knew how to react. By then it was his turned to be flustered, lowering his head when the heat of embarrassment felt burdening, weighing him down. Absentmindedly he steered in his drink, waited for Mark to go on, “Like, I know you and Lucas are, like, a thing” - Renjun made a surprised sound hearing that, almost choking on his current sip - “but I won’t get over this without saying this, especially now that I’ve seen you, so I’m just saying that, like, you know.”

Renjun did, in fact,  _ not _ know. These words he had heard were like fire, a heated truth, so visible and palpable, warmth that could be felt, but he couldn’t touch it. Elusive reality, he didn’t know what to make of it, so the only thing he managed to say in response was merely, “Lucas and I aren’t a thing…”

Curiously, Mark’s gaze burned a hole through his head and heart, similar to a cat trying to fix prey, it was a simple look when it wasn’t simply at all. “You’re not, like, dating?” For some reason, the Winged sounded more flabbergasted than seemed reasonable in such a situation. “I mean, really, he always said he’s in love with you and that he plans to spend his life with you and- Oh…”

Finally, he had caught up with Renjun’s confusion, it was the younger one’s turn to feel his cheeks heat up with a flush, ruddiness passed back and forth between them like a ball during a tennis match.

“He didn’t tell you, did he? Like, he didn’t confess, right?” For another moment, Mark seemed taken aback, a feeling quickly replaced by determination, black eyes turning darker as decisiveness surged through him. Placing the cigarette in the ashtray, the Winged placed his hands on the table, leaning forward a bit, black feathered limbs beautifully folded with attentiveness, holding a pose Renjun recognized as the one similar to right ahead of taking off. “Renjun. I know we haven’t talked, like, a lot so far, or spent much time together, and I know I’m not, like, your most favored person. But if you give me a chance, like, really, a proper chance, I promise I can make you see I’m also an option. You know we’re already made up to spend a long time together but I swear it would be a way better experience if you could consider me, too!”

Bit by bit, Renjun shrank in on himself, raising his shoulders a bit not for the sake of defense but to hide his flustered state. It shouldn’t be fair that someone he had thought to hate until a month ago could make him feel like this so easily. “I already see that,” he muttered, and part of that had to do with his mother. After having seen his drawings, she had attempted giving him a more base down view of the Lee son - she hadn’t just praised Mark for all of his achievements, she had portrayed all these different sides, how Mark struggled to show affection a lot of times, might seem reclusive when so utterly focused on something, but readily he made time for anyone who needed it, how dedicated he could be to all he set his mind on. The picture she painted, it had been more complete than what Renjun’s father always had told him, and from a few interactions alone Renjun could see that as well.

Overly he was aware of how a few people were already looking their way, obviously having overheard Mark’s attempt at a confession, anticipating his reply, and it proved to make it more difficult for him to know how exactly he was supposed to respond. Hoping to loosen his tongue a bit, he quickly took a big gulp of his drink, emptying half his glass in one go, sugary alcohol sweet in his mouth when he swallowed it quick. It was dizzying, momentarily more so than the sight of Mark’s wings shuddering with nervosity and the urge for flight, which ironically moth encompassed flying and fleeing at once. 

“You’re not a bad option,” he finally mumbled, so much he had already realized, but it was not enough. Not being  _ not a bad option _ wasn’t enough when he had just received a confirmation of his own ideal being within reach. Shortly Renjun licked his lips, trying to figure out how to phrase his next words without sounding like the utter asshole it might make him out to be. “I’m just not sure I could ever be able choose between you two…”

Mark’s retaliation came in the form of a nervous chuckle, exasperated at its best. “What do you propose then? Dating us both at once?”

Silence settled between them, answers he wasn’t able to give Renjun conveyed with his gaze, and understanding dooming upon the older was all too palpable by Mark’s slowly dimming realization. “Oh…” The Winged only echoed, blinking once, widening his eyes a bit, blinking once more. “I think I need another drink…”

With a wry smile, the wingless human slid down from his stool. “I’ll get you one. Guess I should start to get used to my future boss’ preferences anyways, not?” It was a weak attempt at a joke, Renjun was aware of that, but there was a flicker of a smile on Mark’s face that reassured him. “When I return, let’s pick up from there - getting to know each other better. Is that okay?”

“‘s okay,” Mark answered, a bit weak albeit not unhappy. Renjun marked it as a little first win to his books, regardless of the bias towards him. Whatever path they’d end up choosing, at least it wouldn’t be a thorny one. 

⭑ 🜚 ⭑ ☾ ⭑

Confronting Lucas was, in a way, more challenging than meeting with Mark - Mark had been a blank paper, someone whose intentions hadn’t been clear to Renjun priorly, a lot of things could have come out of it even if now the only thing busying his mind was the short kiss they had shared. Innocent, mostly, lasting not too long yet not lacking tenderness. The sensation had lingered on his lips unto he had fallen asleep, the memory of the moment prevalent in his mind even now when he was supposed to be focusing on Yukhei instead.

Social media be blessed, Renjun had gotten to know that the other had been out the prior night, not merely for drinks like Mark and he had, Lucas had originally been out for dinner, barbecue from the looks of it, and drinks had been the accompaniment. Not the main focus, not like Renjun and his faint headache from when he had drunk half a glass more than he should have thanks to being distracted by Mark so well. Only their short flight across the roofs of Seoul had caused him to sober up quite a bit, mesmerized by the sight of night sky wings right in front of its real counterpart, sparkling stars, glinting lights. Those of the city had reflected in Mark’s eyes.

Only now was not the time to think about it, now he was supposed to focus on his best friend and the breakfast he had put plenty effort into preparing it. Between messaging Misses Wong, going to the store for groceries, and arriving just in time to greet her farewell, exchanging a cozy day at home with a strenuous day at work. Just to get in some cookie points for himself, he had also gotten her a few of exactly those, using the following hours to prepare breakfast and himself until he was certain he was ready for this conversation. He  _ was _ ready for this conversation.

Except he very evidently was not, brain short-circuiting the moment he saw Lucas come down the hallway, eyelids glued together from sleep, steps sleazy, wings lazily dragged along, swiping the floor as if they were dust collectors, not actual majestic extremities. It was as adorable as it was nerve wracking, the usually familiar sight of golden skin now hitting him like a truck, like a junkie experiencing a second first time after a durance of withdrawal. He shouldn’t be as affected as he was, he knew that, and yet he was. 

Even the moment Yukhei spotted him was all too obvious, every little expression telling tales, the moment of joy when spotting Renjun followed by a hint of distrust, as if this was a daydream, something not possible within their reality anymore, and then it brightened again, nervous hope, expectations that shouldn’t be disappointed. To many, it wouldn’t sound like a lot, a few days of lessened contact, but to them who were so used to be in contact, so easy to be in touch with each other, it was. All the more when the chain of events had been so dramatic, heated kiss and cold shoulder. 

“Morning,” seemed like a horrible first word then, so Renjun quickly followed up by pushing back one of the chairs, gesturing for Lucas to join him at the table. “I’ve made your favorites which aren’t really enough for an apology but… I tried?”

“You want to apologize? With food?” Lucas asked, eyes widened as much as their bleary state could allow to. With a thud, his heavy weight fell down onto one of the chairs, because a sleepy Lucas was even clumsier than a normal Lucas, and to Renjun it was nothing short of endearing. Like a drowsy puppy trying to stand on wobbly legs. “‘m not protesting the food part but can we have that without a fight next time?”

Lightly, Renjun wrinkled his nose at that, the idea of having to get up so early on the regular was more than terrifying. “Maybe for your birthday,” he stated instead, settling down as well to hesitantly poke around his breakfast before he confessed, “Or if you come over to Mark’s for a breakfast date…”

Instantaneously he could feel Yukhei’s mood dim again, the answer to the unprompted question obvious. Jealousy, or maybe just envy, possibly also mere resignation. It could be any of that, essence of it was that joy was not an emotion to be overcome with when hearing your crush was going on a date with someone else. 

“A date,” Renjun repeated, a bit more confident as he licked his lips, “With the three of us.” There, he had said it, it hadn’t been quite as difficult as he had thought originally. On the contrary, it felt freeing to let it out, admit to his thoughts and intentions, and like a dam being broken, he couldn’t help letting out more, “I’m not- I’m not against being like this with you, I just want to state that. But… I mean, I’ll spend my life with Mark and you anyways, and I know he likes me, and that you like me, and I’d rather give both of you a chance than only one of y-”

“Sure.” Nonchalantly, the Winged put some of the side dishes on his plate that was already loaded, plenty of the meat piled on top that the younger had pulled out of the quick soup earlier. “We can do that. I don’t mind.”

“You don’t… mind…” Renjun echoed, slowly, trying to make sense of what he had just heard and he was more than tempted to throw a temper tantrum right then. He had spent  _ weeks _ agonizing about this, and Lucas was just going to accept it like this? It was maddening, made his overthinking so very useless and that alone was bothering him. “You don’t mind?”

“I don’t mind,” Lucas stated once again, following words delayed for stuffing his cheeks with food, the meat he shamelessly moaned around. “If it makes you happy, and I get to have you, it’s sufficient to me. And you’re not the only one who made out with his other best friend before, Renjun.”

Fantasy of Mark and Lucas kissing, making out, touching each other - gold blending with black, their glimmering shine morphing, becoming one, their wings a curtain of day and night - was mesmerizing, drove the heat to his cheeks. Quietly the urge to watch them like this clawed its way up like a mischievous little thing, and to know he was thinking about them like this had him lower his head in shame. It was… new, to say the least. Mostly because he hadn’t spent much time thinking about other people like this before, not that he hadn’t considered  _ anything _ before, but then his partner had always been some shapeless nameless someone - sometimes taller sometimes, same height, sometimes stronger, sometimes not, sometimes this and sometimes that - but never as definite as Mark and Lucas - Mark  _ and _ Lucas, together. 

“I didn’t- You knew?” Renjun asked a bit awkwardly, shifting in his stool, he forced his mind to focus on the food just to not have to think about the implication of it all. There was no certainty he could stomach something solid while discussing topics like this so he tried to eat some of the soup instead, carefully as he spooned it into his mouth. 

As a first response, Lucas only hummed in agreement, cheeks bulging a bit like a hamsters from all the food so cheerfully eaten. Whether the improved mood was caused by delightful mood or innocent confessions was a different topic. “Jeno told me. Something about it making him feel unsettled if he doesn’t tell me, considering our relationship and all.”

A single surprised sound escaped the younger, blinking curiously at the Winged. “He didn’t tell me…” Which seemed unfair, in retrospect, if Jeno had told Lucas about their deal, the least he could have done would have been to inform about Renjun about exactly that. Merely in retrospect it was mostly useless to get upset about that, he couldn’t change it anymore and, surprisingly, it had also made matters easier for him now, saving him that awkward talk. “So you and Mark, huh?”

“So  _ you _ and Mark, huh?” Lucas mocked his words, collecting some more of the side dishes, and for the first time Renjun noticed how much of the food had already disappeared, courtesy of the Winged. “Did you finally decide to accept your fate?”

The words, so utterly cheesy, had the brunet wrinkling his nose, playfully shooting a crumpled piece of tissue at his opposite. “We kind of came to an agreement, I guess… I’ll finish my studies normally but try to get a bit familiar with his activities also. Since Mark’s yet to finish his own academics, so we got some time until it gets serious.” The real dramatics would only pick up once his own master’s degree was done, when Mark would be stuck with his doctorate’s and their life was slowly easing into the working time. “So you better take me on some trips before we got no time left, too.”

“As if you didn’t have the money to go on your own-” Lucas tried, and broke off when Renjun attempted jumping at him across the table, teasing fading into laughter that seemed to accompany their breakfast for a while longer. 

It wasn’t until the younger had taken to clearing the table, storing the leftovers appropriately and sorting the dishes into the machine that the mischief return, this time shaped like gold skinned arms wrapping around his waist from behind. Yukhei’s body heat easily beat the looming summer heat not even the aircon could battle properly, breath hot as it tickled Renjun’s ear. “So if we’re dating now, does that mean I can kiss you again, and as much as I want to?”

Lucas, he reasoned later, totally deserved being elbowed in the guts. And the short kiss that followed in the form of a mute apology. If it escalated into more, no one had to know about that for sure. 

⭑ 🜚 ⭑ ☾ ⭑

True to their little agreement, those times Renjun made breakfast for Mark usually meant Lucas being part of it, were part of the  _ dates _ they had decided to have together. Which didn’t lead to other dates being skipped on, regardless of those, he went on his exploration tours with Xuxi to find nice little coffeeshops and cozy cafés, went on night flights with Mark that often lead to going to bars, mostly faulted on Mark’s busier schedule. Who, as Renjun got to know, spent most of his afternoons in the hospital, once he had even accompanied the older there but getting vomited on by an elder geezer whose eyesight was so bad he had considered Renjun a girl had not been fun. It had been way different to that time he had been taken along to one of Taeyong’s shoot which had then been followed by being treated to a nice meal at a Michelin ranked restaurant that the model had been all too enthusiastic about.

In other words, the remainder of his holidays had been busier than he had originally anticipated. Before they were over, he already mourned their passing, classes picking up again soon, this day marked one of their last opportunities at a peaceful brunch without stressing being in time to class. For that reason, in the recent days, Renjun had struggled with sleeping, waking up too many times during the night, being unable to fall asleep properly once the sun was up, and the bright side to it was that the dishes he managed to create became more and more elaborate. Greeting Mister and Misses Lee good morning became a habit, sometimes he prepared some extra for them if they could spare enough time to stick around, and if not, they at least stayed for a cup of coffee he had learned to make thanks to his own mother’s sticky note left on the fridge’s door. 

Thanks to his new habit, he was usually done with breakfast before Mark was up, or a drowsy Lucas had achieved the short flight around the buildings outer walls. Sunny days meant he was soaking up the morning light with a cup of tea, awaiting both their arrival, the order of which changing on the daily. Merely their ways of greeting him stayed the same, how Mark would sneak up on him from behind and use the tips of his wings to block Renjun’s sight before leaning forward, lips meeting for a short kiss that was quite like a rendition of that scene in spiderman. Except they weren’t going at it vertically, was but a matter of the younger tilting his head over the backrest of the couch. How someone could ever prefer being infected with spider genes rather than being blessed with beautiful wings was a mystery to him. 

Compared to the black haired, Lucas’ arrival was always more dramatic, having mastered the art of flopping onto couches mid landing or skittering to a halt in front of Renjun’s seat to place one surprisingly short kiss to the younger’s cheek. It was innocent, almost shy, contradicted the sometimes rambunctious ways of the golden winged man. Then again, Renjun had already figured out it was part of what made up their charms, not only restricted to their beautiful looks. 

Mark’s black feathers covered his face first that day, despite the visual obstruction, he didn’t miss out the rustling wind that normally accompanied Lucas’ arrival, unlikely as it seemed for them to grace him with their presence at the same time. It made him smile as he tilted his head back, awaiting the black haired’s kiss he didn’t have to endure waiting for for long. Lips that were warm and soft, unlike his own which were bitten raw, the faint taste of toothpaste still lingering from when Mark had been in the bath until moments ago. 

Around their kiss, he could see Mark retreat his wings, starry skies replaced by golden mornings, when Lucas encompassed all of them from where he leaned over the couch, one knee supporting his weight next to where Renjun sat exactly. A single second of the chilly warm morning air, then Lucas lips replaced Mark’s, mint mixed with coconut, viscous due the usage of chapstick, it was a less innocent kiss than what he was used to, like a challenge between them, who could kiss better, for longer, and before it could evolve into such, he pulled away with a flustered expression.

“Food will get co-” His words broke off, tongue suddenly feeling heavy, mouth stuffed with cotton, because the sight presented to him, black and gold, luxurious colors, meeting in a tint of rose, was prettier than he could ever possibly stomach. In the routine they had settled with, there hadn’t been too much of Mark and Lucas being like this, too many of their kisses directed at him rather than each other, which was funny, considering they had definitely had more of that with each other than either of had had with him. 

The moment they parted, when already he could see a telltale grin forming on Yukhei’s lips, the youngest lunged at him, punching revealed skin with quite some might, knowing it wouldn’t actually hurt the taller. “Fuckers,” he grumbled, moving away from beneath golden skin to move to one of the single seats, get away from them and their tempting sight. Just to add to his words, he grabbed one of the pillows around to throw their direction. “Get away from each other or I’ll eat on my own.”

“You wouldn’t,” Mark started vaguely gesturing at all the food put out, “like, be able to eat that. Really, you eat less than us, you wouldn’t actually manage.”

“Psht!” Lucas hand dramatically clasped Mark’s mouth, eyes comically wide. “He might actually try to.”

Renjun, in retaliation, glared at his feathered sun, reaching for the pancakes he knew were the other’s favorite for the sake of petty revenge, which he planned to keep hostage for a while longer. Like this, settled next to each other, they looked beautiful. It was almost unimaginable that he got to call them his, and how much closer they had gotten within such short time. Mark’s birthday had marked their first official and real date, of sorts, when they had treated the Winged to dinner before going out for drinks with their friends. From romantic to funny, like during Lucas’ party their inhibitions had been lost, had ended with too many kisses in too little time. 

Too much change in too little time, it should startle him but it didn’t. On the contrary, instead of it feeling like all his habits and routines were uprooted, it was as if everything had finally settled - his resistance to being a caretaker for the Lee son nullified thanks to knowing Mark better now, his wondrance about romance shut down for dating two, his relationship with Lucas that had solidified when he had thought such to be impossible. Questions that had been uncertain were resolved, answers he hadn’t anticipated to be granted. 

Silky gold tickled his nose, had him flare his nostrils right before sneezing, with Lucas’ pancakes held to the side in a safe distance. A fatal mistake, they were stolen from him immediately, and the only reason he was not upset with their golden boy was the impossibly bright expression, seeing the happiness radiating from a simple treat.

“You’re really,” Mark mumbled, eyebrows pulled up a bit, “too in tune with each other. Would be terrifying if you weren’t cute.”

At the same time Lucas started cooing, Renjun gagged, looking almost horrified at his flustered boyfriend. That, too, would be terrifying if it weren’t awfully cute. So - unwillingly - he had to agree, watching the two Winged poke mischief at each other, teasing so tender, brightly energetic gold and calm subdued black. Renjun honestly doubted he could ever get tired of this. 

⭑ 🜚⭑ ☄ ⭑ ☾ ⭑

Wednesday night was date night, simply because Thursday marked the only day none of them had morning classes, weekends kept free for their friends and family and whatever other special need. It was comfortable like that, having a set time, set day, when he didn’t need to worry about checking his schedule and freeing a slot. Wednesday was for relaxing, it was for easy times, wasn’t like the other days when they’d need to talk it out and move around their routines, when coffee dates between classes were easier for Lucas and him, Mark so far away, different campus, different university, out of their reach. It was bothersome, those times in between when he wasn’t with either of the two or - better - with both of them at once. Renjun reconsidered that now.

“No.” The moment he had opened the door to Lucas’ room, caught sight of the two, the word was already out, had left his lips. Not like it was incriminating, right the opposite, and maybe that was worse. He was familiar with the bed right within his sight, the polished dark wood, natural hued sheets, the fluffy blanket kept at the stool at the lower end of it for cuddlier times. More than that, he was absolutely aware of how this bed meant for two was a tight fit when the other person carried wings. 

Sometimes those lovely golden wings had been like a blanket, keeping him warm and safe in cold winter nights - well, cold as they could be in a well heated house. Other times, those which prevailed, they had been folded to Lucas’ back and taken up the space another third person would need, ultimately meaning they had been closer than Renjun would have liked. He wasn’t even a fan of being the little spoon, he hated it, in fact. Being smaller than most his friends was incriminating enough, he didn’t want to be the one who was kept safe because, ultimately, that was what it entailed, a primal instinct, guarding your partner by shielding them with the own body. Protect them from enemies, from wild animals, whatever it was to risk one’s life in prehistoric times.

The implication of that, of being the  _ weaker _ link to the chain, was horrible enough. That sensation of being trapped by someone’s tight hold was outright uncomfortable, and it must be faulted to Lucas’ having done this since childhood only that Renjun could bear with it. And as off-topic as that might be, it was also very relevant to this current situation. Because there, right in front of his eyes, were Mark and Lucas sharing the latter’s bed, their wings taking up so much space, an utter inconvenience under these terms, with a playstation controller in hand to navigate around the Netflix screen on TV.

“Hell, no,” Renjun repeated, this time more audibly, if their eyes meeting his frame were anything to go by. “Fuck’s sake, you better more your little bunny bums to the living room because I ain’t about to get squeezed to death by your wings and-”

Any further word was cut off, stolen right from his tongue with how Mark had sat up and reached forth, pulling him further into the room until he stumbled across the stool and fell into bed. Combined effort, he ended up kneeling between those two, Mark’s lips warm on his own whilst Lucas’ hand felt heavy on top of his head. 

“If we watch here, we can just fall asleep without care,” the oldest pointed out, charming smile on his lips, crinkling his eyes like an unfair attack.

“And we don’t have to lug him around,” the black haired added on, thumb pointing at Yukhei which, well, valid point. Body weight alone was too much, both wings combined weighed a bit more than that. The memory of the last time already had Renjun grimacing, of how they had attempted to heave the asleep dead weight across the apartment to get him into bed. 

With a grunt, Renjun turned around, settling on his stomach, feet propped against the headboard, because he knew there was more space. Wings were beautiful, he loved them, unashamed and honestly, but sometimes they were a hindrance, and the amount of space they took up in the upper half of the room was too much for him to take. Further down, were his only companions were their thighs, there was more room, space for him to comfortably laze down. “One day I’ll break up with you for reasons like those.”

“You would never … right?” Mark asked a bit flustered, at the same time as feathers tickled the soles of Renjun’s feet, making the youngest jump and thrash his foot around, before it was trapped in a tight hold to make sure he wouldn’t hit their pretty faces right then. 

“He would never,” Lucas agreed, simultaneously to Renjun huffing, “I so totally would.”

To their side, Mark could only awkwardly laugh, confused by their antics, something Renjun knew could sometimes still be too much. It was why he usually put in extra effort for their middle part, trying his best to include Mark who was excluded by circumstance alone - lack of a common past, of common schools, of common friends. Albeit Mark’s friends, as Renjun had learnt within recent time, were quite fun. He only wanted to smash Donghyuck’s head in about every minute. Jaehyun was nice, had made it a habit of treating them to dinner whenever they had time. 

Reaching behind himself, the youngest snatched the controller from Yukhei’s hands, skipping to the first horror movie he could find and which he had not yet watched. The moment he pressed play, when the first tunes of the company intros rang throughout the room, he corrected, “I would not.” Beneath his arm, where he had used Mark’s thigh as a pillow to rest on, he could feel the muscles going limp, tension pouring out, and it was nice to know three little words could have such grand effect.

“He doesn’t like to admit to it,” he could hear Lucas’ whisper drown out the music intro behind him, “but once he’s attached to you, he won’t quite leave. You need to feed the cat to make sure it sticks around, Markie.”

Blindly, Renjun aimed a kick at the oldest, trying to hit that pretty face after all despite knowing his efforts would be denied. Lucas’ reflexes had always been better than his, but the message was conveyed, their whispers died down, the movie could be enjoyed. Not anything grant, some jumpscares that had Renjun actually jump - something he’d eternally refuse to admit to - and some hefty amount of blood and an overly exaggerated love story that reminded him of something crucial. 

With the movie still playing and screams of terror echoing around the room, he turned around a bit so he could look at Mark, question in his eyes unto he had drawn the older’s attention. “Say, why’d you think I was dating Lucas anyways?”

A few times, the dark winged blinked at Renjun in confusion, until embarrassment caught up, ears a bright red. “I mean, you kept touching his wings and all. It just seemed natural to, like, assume.”

Yukhei’s head whipped around at the mention of that, and the realization so evidently dawned on him, expression not unlike the one someone had when remembering they hadn’t turned off their stove before leaving the house. “Oh! Right, man!”

Renjun couldn’t help feeling left out at that, frowning at them and the awfully uncomfortable angle he had to crank his neck to keep watch of them. “What ‘oh!’? Can one of you two actually enlighten me?”

“Dude” - Renjun gagged at the choice of Mark’s phrasing - “like, wings are really sensitive and important and all. You don’t just touch them like a stray cat, like, touching them is like touching someone’s dick- I mean, not exactly like dick- It’s just, you know, really intimate so you can’t just- like, touch them- So, yeah…”

Now it was the wingless one’s turn to be somewhat flabbergasted at this new revelation, information he had never once before received or been told about. To think that, regardless of it being such prized act, he had been allowed to play with Yukhei’s wings however he had wanted since he had been a child… “I’ve gnawed at them,” he confessed with shock, eyes darting back and forth between his two boyfriends, each of them stuck with a similar emotion as his own, utter state of surprise creamed with dismay. “I’ve bit di-”

Before he could finish, Lucas’ hand was warm on his mouth, shutting down the treacherous word he had been about to say and that would definitely have ruined it all for them. From the TV, the female lead’s screams resonated, blatantly emphasizing the cruelty his own words would have entailed.

“Yeah,” Mark chuckled nervously, breaking their awkward silence. “That’s a… Like, that’s really a big deal… Some don’t offer others to touch their wings until marriage so-”

This time, it was on Renjun to silence their middle member, kicking him with his foot, a more well aimed kick, landing on Mark’s shoulder who made a surprised noise quickly echoed by the youngest’s. His bare ankle clasped by golden fingers, yanking him up the mattress and to the side, ending with the smaller being splayed across Lucas’ lap, and it was enough to give cause to a playfight of the likes they had always lead them, with the Winged barely using and of his strength and Renjun being too overzealous. No surprise they ended up down on the ground within seconds, landing cushioned by feathery wings. 

From below, he caught sight of Mark’s worried expression, pale skin framed by black hair, background of sparkling starry wings, he was a beautiful sight. Tragic like Raphael painting, pulling on one’s heart strings. Blooming warmth within his fragile chest. 

Renjun was stunned for a moment, before he grinned, surging up to grab the missing one by the shirt and drag him down, a landing as raccuous as their own ending in a way affectionate manner when Mark’s lips met his. A tender kiss, slow and steady, it was only broken by a sharp pinch to his waist, Lucas giggling giving the culprit away. It would have ended in another round of playing fight if not the oldest had done damage control, coconut flavored lips that exorcised his will to fight. Why try to wrestle someone thrice his weight when he could simply kiss them senseless, something he was very eager to do when he rolled around to straddle Lucas’ hips. Sitting upright meant he had easier access, not only to his golden boy but Mark as well. His fingers, caressing golden feathers, tracing the sensitive spots, making them quiver beneath his touch, and black strands he could curl around his finger when he pulled the starry night like counterpart closer for another kiss. 

Wednesdays, really, should be less about relaxing and more about kissing and wings, and wings and kissing, and maybe some pretty boys thrown somewhere in between. Wednesdays were maybe his favorite day of the week if all of them passed like this for the entirety of their term. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you've come this far, I'll openly promote following [Octie](https://twitter.com/yawnedsoftly) because not only is she one lovely bub, she's also a really talented artist and writer! So if you need some sunshine in your life, follow her ❤️
> 
> If you want to keep up with my ~~lack of~~ writing, you can keep watch on me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starrymeis) or send me your thoughts on [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/starrymeis)
> 
> Since I'm at it, I'll also promote that both of us are also part of the CAS fic exchange so please stay tuned for a few new things in August ❤️


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